


Not So Imaginary

by kayasawada



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Bashing, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pre-Slash, Random stuff that came from my mind, Temporary Character Bashing, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:25:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2530535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayasawada/pseuds/kayasawada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim had been having a hard time being Captain (What with mistrust amongst some of the crew and disrespectful officers going unpunished). One day he begins acting oddly causing many crew members to take their concerns to Doctor McCoy. After Leonard had listened to the concerns of his fellow crew mates he got a very good hunch as to what was going on with the Captain and it involved the reappearance of a overprotective and slightly troublesome childhood friend. Things were about to get very interesting for the crew of the USS Enterprise. (Currently being edited)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue and Doctor McCoy

**Author's Note:**

> This is my First Star Trek fanfiction! It took me forever to finish it. I know it has some problems, but I think it turned out well for my first try. This is pre-slash. There isn't really a slash relationship in this story only mentions of one and hints to a future one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my First Star Trek fanfiction! It took me forever to finish it. I know it has some problems, but I think it turned out well for my first try. This is pre-slash. There isn't really a slash relationship in this story only mentions of one and hints to a future one. I don't own anything except Maverick!

**Not So Imaginary**

By: _Kaya Sawada_

 

 

_**Prologue** _

 

 

Having an imaginary friend is a part of growing up for most children. Children create these imaginary playmates out of loneliness or a need to express themselves. Once a child reaches the age of five they no longer feel the need for their imaginary friend. Some children that do keep their imaginary friends won’t acknowledge them out loud because of expectations placed on them by adults.

It is extremely rare that a child would create an imaginary friend after the age of five. Some children who are born with unique abilities create imaginary friends to handle those abilities until they are able to understand and handle it themselves. Those children eventually come to terms with their psychic abilities, whatever they may be. Once they have accepted those abilities; their imaginary friend is no longer a necessity.

However, one can’t help but to wonder what happens when a child can’t come to terms with their abilities and continues to rely on their imaginary friend throughout their life?

 

  ** _Chapter 1: Doctor McCoy_ **

 

 

“Doctor McCoy, may we please speak to you about the Captain? There is something wrong with him”. It wasn’t anything knew. Lately the good doctor had been getting many concerns/complaints about the captain and his “odd behavior”. Doctor McCoy had his own theories about what the problem was and he wasn’t about to say anything lest the crew think he’s just as crazy as they currently think Jim is. “What is it now? I don’t think there is anything that moron can do that will surprise me”.

“The Captain has been acting weird and talking to himself. He tries to cover it up, but he isn’t doing a very good job of it”. Yes, McCoy had a damn good idea as to what was going on, but first he needed to find Jim and confirm his suspicions. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll check into it and find out what’s going on”. The crew member relieved and reassured that the Doctor would be able to help the Captain; walked away.

McCoy became lost in thought. Damn It Jim! I thought you were past this. How the hell am I supposed to deal with the crew thinking you’ve gone crazy? Doctor Leonard H. McCoy sighed knowing that some time soon he would have to confront Jim about what was going on. He knew that he would have to be extremely careful in his approach for the only time it appeared as if Jim was talking to himself was whenever HE showed up and McCoy knew that the only time HE showed up was when Jim was emotionally troubled and lonely.

If Jim is unhappy then this could have an effect on the crew. HE would react to the crew the way Jim couldn’t. McCoy grinned at that thought. Now there was something positive that would come from HIS return. If there is one thing McCoy knew that HE wouldn’t put up with; it was anyone being cruel to Jim. Spock and Uhura had been giving the young Captain nothing but trouble ever since he was given the position as Captain of the USS Enterprise.

Leonard thought that Spock’s attitude towards Jim was caused by a number of things. The first being the Kobasyashi Maru test that Spock programmed to be unbeatable and that Jim hacked to make it possible to beat. The Second issue he had with Jim was his actions during the Narada incident. The third and final issue that Spock had with Jim came from Spock’s Girlfriend and her beliefs about Jim.

What Jim is unaware of (and he’s the only one on the ship who doesn’t know) is that Uhura has convinced Spock that the only reason Jim is trying to be his friend is because he wants in his pants. Uhura has stated quite loudly that Jim was incapable of having a friend. Which caused Leonard to look at her as if she was mentally deficient, because if Jim was incapable of having a friend then what the hell was he? Uhura’s attitude towards Jim is based off of a chance meeting they had in a bar when they first met and the fact that she caught him with her roommate one time. In the end her opinion about Jim is based on rumors and her own diluted imagination.

The Doctor could very easily picture HIS reaction to the couple. It would serve them right if they got a hefty dose of reality that was long overdue. McCoy shook his head with a deep chuckle and headed out to find Jim. The sooner he found out if his theory was fact or not the sooner he could sit back and watch the chaos that was bound to come from the return of Jim’s “imaginary” friend.

 

 


	2. The Hardship of Being Captain Kirk

_**Chapter 2: The Hardship of Being Captain Kirk** _

 

 

The captain’s quarters were dark as Jim lay face first on his bed that he currently had no intention of moving from. He hugged his pillow closer to his face and sighed. He laid there without movement for another minute or so before he turned onto his right side. However, when the door to the bathroom came into sight he glared and turned over onto his left. He didn’t want to look at anything that connected him to his first officer (that included the bathroom that connected their quarters together).

It’s been three months since they had left Earth to start their first five year mission and already he was regretting his choice in certain crew members. Sulu and Chekov were perfect choices as were Bones and Scotty. However, Spock and his bitch of a girlfriend were huge mistakes. So what if she was a talented linguist? There are other people out there just as talented as her or maybe even more so.

When it came to Spock all he could feel was disappointment and regret. He wasn’t sure how to face Spock after he emotionally compromised him. The Ambassador had assured him that things would work themselves out in the end, but so far he had no such luck.

For as long as Jim had been Captain and Spock had been his First Officer; the Vulcan had done nothing but make his job harder. How can he gain the respect of the rest of the crew when his own first officer did nothing but constantly question him and talk down to him in front of said crew? It wasn’t as if he wasn’t willing to take any criticisms from Spock. He’d just rather it was voiced in private and not all the time.

Jim thought he would be able to over look the problems he was having with both Spock and Uhura if only it wasn’t starting to affect the mission and his relationships with other crew members. How could anyone respect him as captain or take him seriously if members of his senior bridge crew wouldn’t? He wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to deal with this because he was still new to the game.

“Well, this sucks,” he sighed. “I couldn’t agree more,” a recognizable voice he hadn’t heard in years came out of the dark. “Lights eighty percent!” he shouted as he sat up. Jim blinked rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the light. When his eyes adjusted he came face to face with someone he thought he would never see again. “Maverick! Where the hell have you been?! I thought you were gone for good this time”. Jim stood up, walked over to his long time missing friend, and hugged him close to his chest. Maverick hugged him back.

Maverick was the exact same height as Jim; standing five foot nine. His black hair was wildly spiked as if he stuck his finger in an electric socket. His eyes almost looked human if you were able to look past the titanium yellow color of the iris. However, you don’t need to see his eye color to know that he wasn’t human. His sharp pointed ears had only a small curve at the base unlike vulcan ears and were twice the size. He wore a plain black t-shirt that was one size too big, regular blue jeans and white sneakers that had red and black stripes on them.

They pulled away from each other. Jim and Maverick took in the appearance of the other. “You look good. I noticed that you have grown up a bit since the last time I saw you,” Jim stated. “Well, I can’t say the same for you. You look like crap,” Maverick said as he crossed his arms and stared at him. “Who do I have to hurt to make you happy?” he questioned Jim.

Jim sighed as he walked over to his bed, sat down on the edge, and covered his face with his hands. “You don’t have to hurt anyone. I’m just having a hard time right now. Some of my crew…is just not what I expected”. He flopped back on to the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Maverick sat on the bed next to him, shook his head and stared blankly at Jim until he looked at him. Jim turned his head to look up at Maverick. “What is it now?” he questioned. “Nothing, it’s just that the Jim I know would never let anyone walk all over him,” he replied.

Jim glared at him. “You just got here. You don’t really know what I’m talking about,” he sat up and turned his body to face Maverick. He was rewarded with a deadpanned look. “Don’t be stupid Jim. I got the gist of your problems. The second I got here I could feel your emotions and blocked as quickly as I could. I just thought I would be polite and let you talk to me about your feelings before rummaging in your head any further then I already have”.

Jim looked devastated as he said that. “You blocked me? Why?” If Maverick was blocking Jim then maybe he didn’t want to be here with him right now. “I haven’t seen you in years Jim. I didn’t think that you would want me rifling though you mind anymore. People change over time. The last time I was around; you were yelling about privacy and space invaders. I don’t want to upset you so I blocked your emotions from mine”. Maverick placed his right hand above Jim’s heart and looked him straight in the eye.

Within a millisecond Jim could feel the chaotic warmth of Maverick’s emotions. He felt Maverick’s happiness at being here with him again, his brotherly love for him, and his anger and hatred for those who have upset Jim. Jim pushed his emotions towards Maverick’s. The joy he felt at seeing Maverick after so long, the longing he felt for Maverick while he was away, the disappointment and sorrow over his failed friendship with Spock, and the anger and borderline hatred he felt towards Spock and Uhura for their unprofessional behavior.

Maverick pulled Jim close and hugged him. “Jim, I’m sorry I was gone for so long. You had grown to the point where I was no longer needed in your life; so I went away. Remember Jim, I’ll always be here when you need me the most”. Jim felt as if the weight of the universe had been lifted off his shoulders. He knew that things were going to get better now that Maverick was back.

Jim and Maverick had spent the rest of the night catching up. They fell asleep three hours before Jim was due on the bridge for alpha shift. When Jim woke up to his alarm clock going off; he wasn’t sure if the events from the day before really happened or if it was just wishful thinking on his part. Reality came crashing down when he felt movement next to him on the bed. He sat up a little and pulled the covers back to get a good look at his sleeping bed mate. When the covers were pulled back enough he grinned at the pair of size ten feet he saw. Yesterday truly happened. Maverick had returned. Jim couldn’t help but smile even more at that thought as he got ready for his day.

Today was a new day. Today he wasn’t going to let anyone push him around. Today he wasn’t going to let anyone talk down to him. Today he will have Maverick with him. He was so happy he started to whistle as he got ready for his shift. Jim was unable to control his excitement as he entered the bathroom. He used the head first; then hit the shower. He wanted to get ready for shift as soon as possible. Jim hoped that he would have time left to persuade Maverick into joining him on his shift in case he was so inclined to stay in bed instead of joining him.

By the time he got out of the bathroom he was fully dressed and ready for shift. He turned to the bed and saw Maverick sitting with his legs crossed in the middle of a perfectly made bed; wearing a command gold Starfleet uniform. Jim couldn’t stop his smile from spreading more across his face; not that he even tried.

“Are you planning to join me on shift or are you just playing dress up?” Jim joked. “I plan to join you on shift of course,” he stated. Maverick gave Jim a sly look, “besides it wouldn’t matter if I showed up naked to your shift; because nobody, but you can see me”. Jim smirked, “now that’s not quite true and you know it. Bones can see you. If you showed up naked he would have a heart attack and blame me for your lack of attire”. They both laughed at that.

“So, Leonard hasn’t changed…I wonder if he will be able to hear me now?” Maverick pondered as he started to float above the bed. He floated over next to Jim and placed his feet on the ground. “I don’t know if he will ever be able to hear you. Then again he is the only other person who can see you,” Jim stated as Maverick stood next to him.

“I’ll count that as a bonus for now. I can’t wait to meet your crew members,” he smiled innocently. “I don’t believe that look for a second,” Jim said as he headed for the door that would lead to what basically amounted as his “living room”. Maverick followed closely behind him looking affronted. “Don’t be ridiculous Jim. I won’t do anything to a member of your crew. How could you think so little of me,” Maverick whined. Jim just snorted walked quickly though his outer rooms and headed out the door.


	3. Maverick’s Return

_**Chapter 3: Maverick’s Return** _

 

Once they entered the busy hallway they were surrounded by crew members headed to their posts for alpha shift. Maverick dodged the crew members expertly. He knew that it would be hard for Jim to explain away a “phantom” touch if the crew members started to complain about feeling something that wasn’t there. There are only so many times saying “it’s just your imagination playing tricks on you” will work.

By the time Jim entered middle school Maverick had learned to keep a lower profile. The only time any one (besides Jim) was able to tell that there was someone else with Jim; was when Jim was in trouble or danger. Then it didn’t matter who he touched, because by that time he wanted to get even with those who had dared to cause problems for Jim.

Maverick observed as some of the female and even some of the male crew members (majority being female) gave Jim dirty looks as he passed by. Even though he couldn’t be seen Maverick gave those crew members a dark look that promised retribution if they were to voice their opinions. Before Maverick could say or do anything to those fools; he felt a jab to his ribs. “Ignore them for now. You have bigger fish to fry,” Jim whispered. Unfortunately he wasn’t as low key as he believed. A few of the passing crew heard him and gave him strange looks when they passed him.

“Oh don’t worry about that. I don’t plan to do anything to them as long as they keep their mouths shut and keep to themselves. Besides it’s not like we can prank every single member of your crew,” Maverick said. “What do you mean we?! I can’t help you,” Jim yelled. The hall way suddenly became silent. Jim blushed and rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry folks just thinking out loud,” he laughed awkwardly and hurried off to the turbo lift. Maverick followed closely behind.

Once they reached the turbo lift they were the only ones to board the empty lift. When the door closed they both started to laugh. “I know it’s been awhile Jim, but I didn’t think you would slip back into elementary school behavior. Yelling at me in a crowd of people like that, and why is it you can’t help me prank them?” Maverick asked. “I’m a captain now. It wouldn’t look good if the captain went around pulling pranks on his crew members…or anyone else for that matter,” Jim stated with a grim look on his face. “Ah, touché. I do believe you have made your point. You can just sit back, relax and enjoy the show,” he replied.

Jim’s smile returned to his face as the lift reached the bridge. Even though he was about ten minutes early, Jim was the last one to reach the bridge. Sulu and Chekov were checking their systems as they discussed the upcoming poker game that Scotty was hosting, a few other crew members were bustling about, the science station was empty as was the captain’s chair, and Uhura was sitting at the communications station talking lowly to Spock who was standing next to her. Jim walked to his chair and sat down. Maverick stood to the left of his chair. Before Jim could even say anything Spock popped up to his right.

“Captain you seem to be in good spirits today,” Spock observed politely. “Indeed I am Commander,” Jim replied without comment to Spock’s own status. He turned to face Uhura at the communications station. Uhura was giving him a venomous look. “Any messages from head quarters Lieutenant?” He asked as politely as possible. “Yes Captain, we are to head to Starbase 22, pickup supplies, and take them to New Vulcan. Once there we are to pick up the Ambassador and his party and take them to Starbase 3,” She sneered. The bridge crew was accustomed to Uhura’s attitude towards the Captain, so they paid them little attention and went about their work.

Jim stood up and glared coldly at Uhura. “Okay, that is it. I am done with your constant rudeness and insubordinate attitude. It ends now,” Jim stated calmly. The bridge fell silent and turned to watch the long overdue confrontation between Captain and Lieutenant. Uhura’s eyes widened before she narrowed them and glared back at Jim. “Captain you-” Spock tried to intervene on his girlfriend’s behalf, but Jim was having none of it. “Remain silent Commander. I am not addressing you. I will get to you faults later,” Jim growled. Spock fell silent at Jim’s icy words.

“I have put up with your less then professional attitude, your childish behavior, and your constant digs at my personality, character, and my personal life. Which might I add is none of your business. I have also reached my limit of tolerance for your insults to not only myself but my friends as well. One more out burst from you; whether it is in my presence or in front of another crew member that I just happen to get wind of and I will have you court-martialed for conduct unbecoming a Starfleet officer. Which will include fraternization with a superior officer, slander, insubordination, and reckless endangerment to a Starfleet mission and your fellow crew mates,” Jim said coldly.

Uhura had started to pale as Jim's verbal and public reprimand continued. “I am your Captain. You will either learn to accept that and show me the proper respect afforded by my rank, or I will have you thrown off the Enterprise. And if it comes to that you can be damn sure that I will make it my personal mission to see to it that your career in Starfleet will be over, because clearly you are not Starfleet material. Obviously you are unable to differentiate between your personal life and your professional one. I strongly suggest you get your act together before you ruin any chance you have of a future in Starfleet. Do I make myself clear Lieutenant?” Jim finished saying as he looked her straight in the eye.

“Yes sir,” she quietly replied. “Excellent! We should have no further problems as long as you keep all of that in mind,” Jim said as he turned to face Spock. “Commander, I do believe you had some sort of comment you wished to add, but before you do I would like to point out that I could and probably should report you for some of the same things I could report the Lieutenant for. The only differences would be failure to reprimand an insubordinate officer because you have a physical and emotional relationship with said officer. From this moment on favoritism on your part will not be tolerated. The Lieutenant will no longer report to you. She is to report directly to me, because evidently you let your personal life mix with your professional life just like the Lieutenant. You are part Vulcan. Act like it and control yourself. Whatever personal issues you have with me as your Captain I suggest you get over them immediately or transfer off the Enterprise,” Jim stated.

“Understood Captain,” Spock said as he stared at Jim with curiosity. “Good, because I want you both to consider this your first, last, and only warning. Next time you will be off of this ship, because I will not give either of you a second chance,” Jim replied. He sat back down in his chair and turned to face the helm. Jim noticed that everyone was staring at him with different levels of fear and respect. “Well, now that that’s over let’s get back to work. Sulu, Chekov you heard Uhura. Plot a course to Starbase 22 at warp four. We should reach the base in less than twenty-four hours,” Jim ordered as if nothing had happened.

“Yes Captain,” they both replied. The bridge fell silent as the tension began to rise. No one was willing to say anything lest they draw the Captain’s fury to themselves. Jim was okay with this for now. A sharp whistle and loud clapping broke the silence. “WOO! Encore! Bravo! Well done! I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Maverick yelled as he became Jim’s own person cheering section. Jim fought so hard to control his growing smile, but was unable to manage it.

A random yeoman walked up to Jim and passed him a PADD that needed his attention. Jim went through the files of Scotty’s new designs to improve the Enterprise. While he was busy looking at the design Scotty had drawn up about the warp core he saw Maverick move away from him out of the corner of his eye. He knew that whatever Maverick was up to couldn’t be good, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Maverick explored the bridge with little care and a great amount of boredom. He stood behind Chekov and Sulu long enough to see what they were doing at their stations, but quickly moved on. He stood behind Lieutenant Uhura for a bit longer. He couldn’t understand how someone could dislike Jim as much as she claimed to. He observed her without incident until he caught her discreetly throwing dirty looks in Jim’s direction. It seems that while she has quieted her tongue for now she was still unable to control her hatred for Jim.

Maverick glared hard at her and did the only thing that came to mind. He lifted his right hand and flicked her hard in the back of the neck. “What the hell!” Uhura yelled as she rubbed the back of her neck and looked around. Everyone on the bridge turned to face her. “Is there a problem that I should be made aware of Lieutenant?” Jim questioned as he turned his chair to face her. She was still rubbing her neck and looking for a possible suspect. “No sir, it’s just a small pain in my neck,” she replied.

“If you are in pain then perhaps you should head over to sickbay and get McCoy to have a look. Despite what you may think of my friends Doctor McCoy is the best doctor in the fleet,” Jim stated and looked back at the PADD that was still in his hand. “It’s not that. It felt as if someone had flicked me in the back of the neck,” she stated. Jim looked up quickly and stared to her right and smirked. She followed his gaze, but saw nothing. “There is no one there Lieutenant. Maybe you just imagined it? It has been a stressful morning. If you need to be excused then you have my permission” Jim said with amusement as he turned his chair back to the helm.

She stared at him in confusion for a minute before she turned back to her own station. Uhura continued on for another five minutes before she was back to giving Jim dirty looks. After the third dirty look she felt another flick to the back of the neck; only this time it was harder. She yelped as her eyes watered a bit because of the sharp pain that was now pulsing through her neck. Jim swiveled his chair around to face her once again. “Lieutenant, I order you to call one of the other Communication Officers and have them report to your station. I want you to head to sickbay and get checked out,” He ordered leaving no room for argument.

Jim watched as she followed his orders and quickly left the bridge. He shook his head and once more returned to his work with a small smile on his lips. ‘Bless you Maverick,’ he thought. Jim was so entertained by Maverick’s actions; he started to chuckle lowly. A few of the crew members looked at him, but when they saw him staring at the PADD they brushed off his laughter. For all they knew he was entertained by the contents of whatever file he was reading.

“That woman is still going to try and cause you any amount of grief that she can,” Maverick said as he perched on the right arm rest of Jim’s chair. Jim opened a message bar and typed ‘I know’. Maverick read over his shoulder. “It’s a good thing you sent her away when you did, because if she kept giving you those looks I was going to punch her next,” Maverick clenched his fist as he admitted to his next possible move. ‘You shouldn’t hit women,’ Jim typed. “I am not interested in your out dated chivalry. If she can pick a fight like a man she can take the consequences like a man,” He stood up and stated. Jim rolled his eyes as he closed the message window and went back to work.

Now that the Lieutenant was off the bridge Maverick decided to continue his exploration. When he came across the science station that was manned by Spock he didn’t seem all that interested. He watched as Spock worked, but quickly grew board. He was about to walk away when he remembered that Jim had said that the Commander was in a relationship with the Lieutenant. He stood closer to Spock and glared down at him. He wanted to make sure that Spock wasn’t going to act like his girlfriend and give Jim a hard time.

Spock was keeping his eyes on the scanners while he thought about what the Captain had said. The Captain was right of course, but he wasn’t sure the Captain was unbiased with his reprimand. His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a shift in the air behind him. He wondered what the Captain wanted. He looked up and turned to address him, but he saw nothing. Spock looked to the Captain’s chair and saw him reading a PADD with a slight smile on his face completely oblivious to the rest of the crew.

Spock looked unfazed by this, but on the inside he was confused. He felt someone behind him; a person that felt just like Captain Kirk. So logically when he turned around to question the Captain; he should have seen him standing in front of him instead of sitting in the Captain’s chair. How could he feel the Captain standing so close to him when he was sitting 7.962 feet away from him? He looked once more to the spot where he could feel the Captain’s presence so close to his own and once again saw nothing. This was most fascinating.

Maverick panicked for a brief moment when he saw the Commander stare at him. Could he somehow; like Leonard see him? Maverick slowly waved his hand back and forth in front of the Commander’s face and received no reaction. When he looked into the Commander’s eye’s he saw confusion. So he couldn’t see him, but somehow he could feel him. ‘Being a Vulcan probably gives him much higher senses then a human has,’ Maverick nodded along with that thought. After that he lost interest in the bridge entirely and went to sit on the floor next to Jim’s chair.

The rest of the shift continued as normal without any interruptions. Maverick moved as needed so he wouldn’t get stepped on and so that no one would notice his presence. When it was finally over he stood and stretched with a loud grown drawing Jim’s attention. Jim looked over to Maverick and tilted his head towards the turbo lift. Maverick nodded and followed Jim onto the turbo lift. Unlike that morning the lift contained three other people. Commander Spock, Lieutenant Sulu, and Ensign Chekov were also aboard the lift. Sulu was telling Chekov about a new plant that was picked up on the last planet they visited and were on their way to see it.

Maverick was standing so close to Jim he couldn’t move without touching him. He was pressed between Jim and the wall so that he wouldn’t accidentally come into contact with anyone else aboard the lift. Jim was pushing Maverick closer to the wall so that he could avoid touching Spock. Jim did not want Spock to touch him out of fear of his telepathy being able to read him with just a brief contact.

Sulu and Chekov got off the turbo lift level that would take them to the botany labs. That left Spock, Maverick and Jim in the lift. In Spock’s eyes the only people left on the lift was the Captain and himself. Spock was having a hard time grasping the feeling that he was not alone with the Captain in the small space of the turbo lift. It felt like there were two Kirks in the lift with him. They were standing close together, but had different “personalities” that were on the same wave length. Spock stared at the Captain with curiosity.

He noticed that Kirk was standing close to the wall away from him. The Captain appeared to be nervous and uncomfortable. Spock was confused as to why the Captain wasn’t pressed against the wall in his effort to avoid him. Then he thought about it and realized that logically whatever was copying the Captain’s wave length was standing next to the wall.

Spock opened his mouth to question the Captain, but before he could say a word the turbo lift opened revealing the hallway to the officer’s quarters causing the Captain to hurry down the hall without saying anything or looking back. This was very interesting. The Captain had never passed up a chance to ask Spock for a game of chess and although Spock has never accepted it was a common practice that Kirk would ask him for a game of chess unless he had to meet up with the Doctor. He knew that the Doctor was scheduled to remain on shift for another two hours, so he couldn’t be meeting up with him. He passed Kirk in the hallway on his way to Nyota’s quarters. He would figure out the Captain’s behavior another time right now he wanted to check on Nyota and make sure she was no longer in pain.

Jim was standing in front of his door entering his code when Spock passed him. He hurried into his quarters as soon as the door opened. When the door closed he yawned loudly. “I think I’ll take a little nap before dinner. Can you wake me up in an hour; unless of course you’re tired too? I could set the alarm if you want,” Jim questioned. “You know that I rarely sleep Jim and when I do it’s out of extreme boredom. I think I can manage to entertain myself quietly while you nap for an hour,” Maverick said as he sat in the chair in the corner of the room next to Jim’s bed. “Thanks man,” Jim whispered as he stripped his uniform off to his black regulation boxers. He went to his dresser and pulled out a black tank top and put it on. He set the temperature to a perfect seventy-five degrees and crawled onto the bed. He quickly fell asleep on top of the covers with Maverick keeping watch from his seat in the corner of the room.


	4. Invading the Captain’s Quarters

**_Chapter 4: Invading the Captain’s Quarters_ **

 

Doctor McCoy made his way to Jim’s quarters as fast as he could without making it look urgent. After all there was no need to cause an uproar with the crew. Just as he turned down the hallway that led to Jim’s room he ran into his two least favorite people. “Doctor McCoy,” Spock acknowledged as they came face to face. “Good evening Doctor McCoy,” Uhura greeted politely. McCoy looked at them both with disgust. He would never forgive Spock for marooning Jim and then attempting to choke him to death after he returned to the ship. In his eyes it didn't matter what Jim had said about Spock’s feeling for his mother. Spock is the one who started using parents against each other during the academic hearing when he threw Jim’s father in his face so callously. As for Uhura, he couldn’t stand her self-righteous attitude or her constant judgment of people she doesn’t even know (for example Jim).

He did not return their greeting as he gave them another dirty look before he continued on his way to Jim’s room. He was getting ready to punch in Jim’s door code when he heard Spock’s voice. “Doctor it is fortuitous that we have crossed paths for I have an inquiry about,” but before he could continue he was cut off. “Spock, if you have any questions regarding your heath you can speak to Doctor M’Benga. I’m seeing to another patient right now and I don’t have time for you”. He turned around to face him and saw Uhura standing about half a foot behind Spock.

“Doctor McCoy, it is not a medical issue that I wish to discuss with you,” Spock stated. Leonard rolled his eyes and turned back to the door. “It’s about Captain Kirk”. Leonard sighed deeply and glared at them. “Do not worry about Jim. As long as he is doin’ his job and doin’ it right then there is no problem. If this is about a personal matter that has to do with Jim then I am only gonna to tell ya this one time…Butt out and mind ya own damn business. Jim does not need nor does he want ya in his personal life. He tried to be ya friend and ya were nothin’ but self-centered an' rude,” Leonard snarled out unable to control his southern accent and entered Jim’s quarters after he finished punching in his password.

Leonard was followed into the outer rooms of Jim’s quarters by Spock and Uhura. “Are you out of your Vulcan mind?! Get out of here,” Leonard hissed quietly. He noticed the silence that filled the quarters. “Doctor it is important that I speak with you about the Captain. There is something strange about him,” Spock insisted as he stood straighter with his hands behind his back.

Leonard opened his mouth to being a long rant when he heard a muffled Scream. “Get out or wait here,” he yelled and turned to run to Jim room. He was ignored and followed closely by both Spock and Uhura. He entered Jim’s bedroom and saw him curled into himself. He was hugging a pillow tightly to his person. Jim’s face was partially buried into the pillow as he continued to scream and shake uncontrollably.

Leonard saw Maverick trying to wake Jim up as gently as possible. They both knew that if they shook him he would get violent. Maverick looked at Leonard with pleading eyes. Leonard hurried over to the bed and sat down next to Jim. He gently stroked his hair and said, “Wake up Darlin’ your not there anymore. Jim come back to me. It’s just a nightmare”. He continued to whisper reassurances of safety and love to Jim until he relaxed into a calmer state of sleep.

As soon as Jim was fully asleep Leonard repositioned him on the bed in a more comfortable manner. He got off the bed and turned to leave the room. Spock and Uhura were standing in Jim’s room giving him strange looks the ranged between curious and disgusted. Leonard walked over to them, grabbed them both by an arm, and pulled them from Jim’s room.

“If you say one word to anyone about what you just saw I’ll make sure you-” he was interrupted by Uhura’s angry voice. “Oh sure it’s okay for you and Kirk to fuck around, but not anyone else. I knew he was unable to have a friend” she hissed. “That is it! I was raised that when I speak to a lady to always be respectful, but I don’t see a lady here. I see a stuck up selfish unfeeling Bitch” Leonard growled at her as she gasped in surprise. “Doctor that was uncalled for,” Spock stated.

“Shut up Spock! I wasn’t talking to you”. Leonard glared at them both. His anger was now beyond control. “Here’s the reality Princess: the universe does not revolve around you, you don’t know anything about James Tiberius Kirk, and every time you open your mouth to spew some hateful “knowledge” about him that only exists your tiny little bigoted mind it makes you look like a jackass!” He yelled at a stunned Uhura.

“Why are you people shouting in my room?” everyone turned to the door where the voice was coming from and saw Jim standing there rubbing his eyes. He entered the room and sat at his desk. “Captain-,” Spock started to answer his question but stopped as Jim put up his hand for silence. “Bones, why did you let trespassers into my quarters? Why were you yelling at them? I was trying to sleep” Jim questioned as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

“Are you okay? When I got here you were having a nightmare. Are your nightmares still affecting your sleep? Do you need another check up? I thought you said that you weren’t having them anymore?” Leonard questioned Jim. Jim smiled at his friends caring nature. “I’m fine Bones; and I never told you the nightmares were gone. I told you that they were less frequent. The destruction of Vulcan brought them back, but that’s okay because I can totally deal with it no problem. Now about my question’s,” he grinned as Leonard looked a little sheepish.

“They followed me in here. Apparently there is something wrong with you,” he said causing Jim to smirk. “Not that that’s anything new. Spock insisted that he speak to me about it, but I didn’t really have time for him so they followed me in here. I’m not quite sure why Uhura is with him, but my guess is that she is here to stir up trouble” Leonard finished.

“I thought I told you both to control yourselves and to act like the Starfleet Officers that you are?” he questioned as he rubbed his eyes again. “Apparently you can’t follow orders. I’ll start your disciplinary write ups now” Jim said as he picked up a PADD off of his desk. “Jim, while I agree they need to back off and learn control; I don’t think it’s disciplinary board worthy,” Leonard said. “I mean they're more of an annoyance then a real problem right?” Leonard questioned.

Jim sat down the PADD and sighed. “Okay…I don’t need the drama right now and considering I was just rudely woken up I could be biased. Now what is it you wanted to talk to Doctor McCoy about, Mr. Spock?” Jim questioned innocently.

Spock was surprised by the question, but never let it show. He stood straighter and looked between both the Captain and the Doctor. “Seven crew members have come to me expressing their concern for your mental stability. Logically, when members of the crew came to tell me that you were talking to yourself; it had to be reported to the Doctor,” Spock said. “Spock, the last time I checked thinking out loud was not a crime. It’s a quirk I have sometimes and Bones is very much aware of it. After all we shared a room for three years,” Jim replied as Leonard nodded along.

“Was that it? I have better thing to be doing then listening to you complain that Jim is thinking out loud. I get that sometimes his thoughts are a bit sickening to mention,” “Hey I resent that” Jim yelled as Leonard continued as if he hadn’t said anything, “but it is harmless. A lot of people suffer from that,” he finished.

“That is it for now, Doctor I will speak to you later. What I have left to say is a private matter,” Spock stated as he turned to leave, but then stopped. He felt the second presence again. He turned back around and looked at Jim and then at the bare space next to Jim’s desk. He looked once again at the Captain and back to the empty space. He didn’t see anything, but he knew there was something there.

Jim and Leonard followed Spock’s gaze and saw Maverick leaning against the wall without a care in the world. They paled, shared a brief look and looked back at Spock. Spock saw the look pass between them and knew that they knew what was going on. He opened his mouth to confront them, but was stopped by Jim. “That will be all Commander. I think you and the Lieutenant have invaded my quarters long enough. Now if you’ll please excuse us Bones and I have some important medical matters to attend to,” he said quickly as he stood to usher them out the door.

Once they left; Jim sighed and then fell silent. “So…it looks like I was right,” Leonard said with amusement. Jim looked at him and glared. “I take it some of those crew members came to you as well?” he questioned as Maverick walked over to Leonard.

“Yes they did, but unlike Spock I had a damn good idea what was going on. So how long has Maverick been back?” he questioned as Maverick hugged him tightly and he returned the hug. Jim grinned as his two best friends hugged. “Not long he popped back up last night. I must say that I do enjoy watching you two interact. Does it bother you that you can’t hear Maverick?” Jim questioned curiously.

“It did at first, but now not so much. Maverick is a part of you, so the fact that I can’t hear him isn’t a problem because I can hear you…if that makes sense,” He answered. “A little bit, but sometimes I can’t help but wish that you could hear him just like I can,” Jim said. “On a more important note; what are we going to do about Spock? Do you think he can see Maverick like I can?” McCoy asked not being able to hide his worry.

“I don’t know. He shouldn’t be able to. As far as I know the only people who can see him are the people I share a deep positive emotional bond with. You can see him because you’re my best friend, you’re like the brother I always wanted, and I trust you more than anyone. Spock and I are not friends, we don’t share a bond of any kind, and I don’t trust him with anything personal; so theoretically he can’t see Maverick” Jim said.

“He can’t see me, but he knows I’m here,” Maverick said as he sat on the edge of Jim’s desk. Jim looked at Maverick, “How do you know he can’t see you? What did you do?” he asked. Leonard watched them both even though he was only getting half the conversation. “Earlier today when we were on the bridge I was standing behind him. He turned around and kept looking between us. He stopped and stared at the exact spot I was standing. I thought he could see me at first, but after I waved my hand in his face and got no reaction I knew he couldn’t. However, I don’t know how, but I know he can feel my presence,” Maverick stated.

“Okay so what you’re telling me is that even though he can’t see you he can ‘feel’ you? How does that even work?” Jim sighed and took his seat at his desk. He pointed to the other open chair for Leonard to take. “Maybe it’s because he’s Vulcan,” Leonard guessed as he sat down across from Jim. “I thought that Vulcans were only touch telepaths,” Jim whined.

“I don’t know about that Jim. Vulcans are very secretive about a lot of things. Maybe because Maverick was created from your extremely high level of empathic ability that you couldn’t deal with when you were younger and Spock’s ability to pick up on everyone’s emotions around him causes him to naturally feel Maverick’s as well,” Leonard hypothesized.

“That could be it. I just don’t want anything to happen to Maverick or myself. I don’t want to be an experiment,” Jim said sill worried. “Calm down it’s not like you can regain your empathic abilities. That’s what gives me life. I think that if I stopped existing entirely you still wouldn’t get those abilities back because they sustained me for so long,” Maverick tried to reassure him. “What does that have to do with anything?!” Jim yelled. “Well, if they experimented on you they wouldn’t find anything, because there is nothing there to find. So the experiments would be a waste of time. Plus Starfleet doesn’t experiment on people. This is not Tarsus IV,” Maverick reasoned.

Jim Shuddered as he thought about the terrible place that continues to haunt his memories especially when he is trying to sleep. “Good point,” he replied. “I wouldn’t worry Jim. Spock is Smart, but he’s not crazy. I didn’t believe that there was anyone else in our rooms until I felt him trip me and it still didn’t even hit me that there was really someone else there until I was able to see him,” Leonard reasoned.

“For now let’s just be on our guard. That means that you must be careful around Spock ok Maverick?” Jim asked his friend who nodded in return. “Good, I don’t want Spock causing trouble and after the smack down I gave to him and Uhura on the bridge today I can only imagine what he’ll do with this kind of information against me and none of it is pretty,” he stated.

“Good for you Jim. Now maybe since you made an example out of Spock and Uhura the rest of the crew will fall in line,” Leonard said. “First, Spock and Uhura were not made an example of. It was just bad timing when I snapped. Second, I barely have any problems with the rest of the crew. Granted some of them were hesitant to follow orders and were giving me dirty looks, but I’m still new to this and have no real experience commanding a ship let alone a crew this size. Lastly, I don’t want my crew to fear me. Fear is not the same as respect,” Jim stated as he counted off on his fingers.

“Okay whatever you say Jim,” Leonard shrugged. “How are you feeling about all of this? You know with; Maverick’s return, Spock and Uhura, and being Captain of the flag ship?” Leonard questioned. “I’m happy Maverick is here. I have to tell you it was getting pretty lonely around here. I know you’re here for me and I’m very grateful, but sometimes you’re busy with being the CMO. I know that I can’t hog all your time, but you’re really the only person I can feel like I can me myself around and that makes me lonely. I’ve already dealt with Spock and Uhura earlier today so they should hardly be a real problem from now on. As for being Captain…well it’s hard and I’m adapting to it pretty quickly,” Jim answered.

Jim, Leonard, and Maverick continued talking for a few more minutes before Leonard stated that they should get dinner and head to bed since Jim was still tired. Leonard programmed three meals into Jim’s replicator and passed the food off to Jim and Maverick taking his own back to the desk. Maverick ate very little of the food that Leonard had given him and sat in companionable silence with Leonard and Jim as they ate their meal. When the food was gone; Leonard cleaned up and ushered Jim back to bed. Maverick returned to his seat in the corner once more to keep watch. Leonard headed out to his own quarters quickly after hoping that everything would work out for everyone in the end.


	5. Maverick’s Origins

_**Chapter 5: Maverick’s Origins** _

 

 

When Jim was a baby he would cry a lot. There was never anything physically wrong with him. His mother never had time for him and when she did she wanted nothing to do with him. Jim’s older and only brother Sam was the same way. Both Jim’s mother and his brother blamed the death of George Kirk on Jim even though he wasn’t at fault.

As he grew older Jim’s emotions would rapidly change and frighten the people around him. When Jim was four he punched his brother so hard in the face that he broke his nose. Another year passed with his emotions growing dangerously out of control. The doctors, the teachers, and Jim’s family were unable to explain his constant shift in emotions. Jim was almost always angry and so full of hate that he frightened his own mother into leaving him with her parents as she fled Earth for another Starfleet mission.

Jim’s grandparents loved him very much. He was a normal little boy when he was with them. His emotions were under control and he was completely stable. Over time he wondered why he was so angry and hateful when he was with his mother and his brother. He would later find out that he wasn’t the one who was feeling that way.

After a year with his grandparents they found out that Jim’s mother Winona Kirk was returning to Earth. They insisted that their daughter bring their other grandson to visit with them and Jimmy while she was planet side. Jim was very excited to see his mom and his brother after being apart for so long. Jim was looking forward to showing them that everything was better now and that he had control over his emotions.

On the day his family was to arrive he waited with excitement and joy. When he heard the door bell ring he left his room at top speed to open the door. When he reached the door he was consumed by anger, hatred, and disgust. He froze at the front door. He could feel those emotions rise with in him, but he knew that they were not his. He backed away from the door in fear without opening it and ran back to his room.

Despite what many people thought; Jim was not stupid. He was six years old now and he knew where those emotions were coming from. It did not take a genius to figure out that his emotions were being stifled and over powered by the people around him. The reason he was so happy with his grandparents was because they genuinely loved him and wanted what was best for him. The reason he was so angry with his mother and his brother was because they were always angry with him.

Jim tried to control his emotions when his grandmother called him down stairs to greet the rest of the family. His mother was standing next to a man that Jim had never seen before while his brother stood off to the side and glared at everyone. That was the day Jim was introduced to his new stepfather Frank and was told that Frank would be taking care of Jim and Sam anytime she had a mission from now on.

Jim didn’t want to leave his grandparents house and said as much when his mother told him the news. “I don’t want to go with you! Why don’t you and Sam go back to Iowa and leave me here?!” he screamed at his mother. Winona informed Jim that his opinion didn’t matter in this situation and explained to him that they were headed back to Iowa later that night. He had a tearful good-bye with his grandparents and headed off into a life that he knew would be hell.

Everything seemed fine for a while after the return to Iowa. Jim was still angry, but this time it wasn’t just his family’s anger that was consuming him. It was his own rage that was filling his mind. How dare these people who did not care for him or love him as a family should ruin the only happiness he had ever known? He never received an answer.

His birthday came and went without acknowledgement other than to continue to mourn the late George Kirk. Jim dreamed of returning to his grandparents where he knew his birth would be celebrated instead of over shadowed by a man who died seven years prior. Shortly after his birthday Winona left for another deep space mission and Jim soon found out that Frank was not pleasant to live with without Winona.

The man was verbally and physically abusive. Frank’s abusiveness had caused Sam to reach out to Jim so that he wouldn’t be so alone in this. All the while his anger towards Jim had lessened, but not vanished. Jim was stressed to the point where he was becoming verbally violent as well. He took his rage out on his class mates and his teachers. He acted out and got into a lot of trouble. His behavior got even worse when his grandparents died. He was losing himself to his and everyone else’s violent emotions. Jim was almost grateful when Winona announced that she was returning to earth.

When Winona returned her children confronted her about Frank’s behavior while she was away. She turned a deaf ear to their cries insisting that Frank wasn’t like that and that they needed to stop making things up. Jim knew then without a shadow of a doubt what he had already known…that Winona was a bad parent. Jim had no problem saying so out loud.

“You are one of those people who never should have been allowed to breed. You’re a terrible parent and an even worse person,” Jim stated as he stared up at his mother with eyes that were much too old for an eight year old to posses. That was the first time his mother slapped him across the face. He did not cry as he stared back at her angry face. He stood there with a red mark on his face as he looked at her emotionlessly. “Thank you for proving my point,” he calmly stated as he turned and left the house.

Jim walked away from the farm house at a normal pace. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even realize he was crying until he came upon the English River bank. Why couldn’t his family love him? What was so wrong with him that caused them to hate him? Jim was so tired of being put though all the crap that his family was placing on him.

Jim wanted to know himself. He wanted everyone else to stop feeling so that he could figure out how he truly felt. He didn’t want to be empathic and he never did. Jim Wished with all his heart and soul that these abilities would be taken from him and that he would find someone who genuinely cared for him like his grandparents did. He had no idea that his mind would bring him to a person that he wished for most.

“Are you okay?” A voice asked that belonged to a little boy. Jim looked up and saw a child his age. The child had spiky black hair, really big pointed ears, and titanium yellow eyes. He was dressed exactly like Jim. They were both wearing plain light blue shirts, dark blue jeans and worn out sneakers that were white once upon a time.

“I will be in time,” Jim said as he looked at the boy closer. “You look familiar. Have we met before?” Jim asked. “I don’t think so. I just got here. As a matter of fact you’re the only person I have ever met, so no we have never met before,” The boy said. Jim thought that was very weird but stuck his hand out for the boy to shake as he introduced himself. “My name is James Tiberius Kirk, but I go by Jim. What’s your name?” he asked as he shook the boy’s hand. The boy frowned and said, “I don’t know. I have never had a name before”. Jim thought the kid was lying until he looked into his yellow eyes and saw that he was telling the truth.

“Maybe I can help you. Do you know anything about yourself? What was the last thing you can remember?” Jim asked in fear that his new friend had been in danger and had somehow lost his memories. “Finding you on the river bank…that’s as far back as I can remember,” the boy said as he concentrated.

Jim was about to say something when he heard his name being yelled off in the distance. He knew that the voice belonged to Frank. He paled a little and turned to his friend to tell him to run. He never got to tell him as Frank came up to him. “Boy what are you doing out here and who were you talking to?” Frank yelled. “I was just visiting with my new friend,” Jim said as he pointed to the boy. Frank looked at the boy and back at Jim. “Think you're funny do you? There’s no one there! I don’t have time for your imaginary friends. Your mama is looking for you,” He growled as he went to grab Jim.

The boy that Jim had just met stared at them horrified, but once Frank had grabbed Jim in a tight grip causing him to whimper; the boy snapped. He ran after them and Bit Frank’s arm that had a grip on Jim. Frank yelped and pushed Jim away. The boy kicked Frank as hard as he could in the shin, grabbed Jim’s hand, pulled him up off the ground, and ran for it. He didn’t care if Jim knew who that man was; there was no way he was going to let anyone hurt his new friend.

Jim led the boy to his home. They ran into his brother Sam as soon as Jim opened the front door. “Mom’s looking for you,” Sam said. “I don’t care tell her I have a guest and to leave us alone,” Jim said as he shoved passed Sam. Sam frowned, “What guest? Are you losing it again Jim? There is no one with you”. Sam shoved past his brother not expecting an answer.

Jim and his new friend were confused. That was the second person who said they couldn’t see his friend. Jim had an idea. He pulled his friend up to his room where he had a camera that had been a gift from his grandparents. He instructed his friend to stand by his door as he took pictures of him. They were both surprised when they saw the pictures, because there was no one there.

“This is weird,” Jim said a little afraid. They sat in silence as they thought about it. They were getting nowhere fast when Winona entered his room. “Oh yeah that’s right; you wanted something?” He questioned. “I wanted to tell you that I have been assigned another mission. I leave next month,” She said as she stared at her youngest son. “And I should care because?” Jim asked curious that he wasn’t picking up on her emotions. She looked at him as if she had never seen him before. “I don’t care what you do Winona. In case you haven’t noticed we’re not a real family. You won’t be missed by me when you’re gone,” Jim told her the facts point blank.

She looked hurt at his words. “I’m you mother,” she said quietly. “Only on the birth certificate; or did you just conveniently forget that you don’t give a damn about me or Sam. If you were a real mother you would have listened to us when we told you about that abusive asshole that you married, you wouldn’t have slapped me when I pointed out that you were a bad mother because of your neglect, and if you were a real mother you wouldn’t be running off to space every chance you get leaving your children behind. No, Winona you are not a real mother,” Jim said as he turned his back on her.

She looked at her son with regret and sorrow before leaving the room. Jim looked at his new friend and smiled. It was like his friend was giving him the strength to speak his mind and stand up for himself. He also noticed that not once did Winona mention his friend. They shared a look. Jim thought about it and said, “I think I wished for you”. The boy tilted his head and had a thoughtful look on his face. “What do you mean?” the boy asked.

“I was sitting by the river thinking about how I wanted someone I could trust, who would always be there for me when I needed them most, and who would love me just like my Grandpa and my Grandma did before they died. After I thought about it and wished for someone like that you showed up” Jim said and stared at his new friend in wonder.

“I guess if you created me with your mind then you should be able to name me,” the boy said. Jim thought about it. What would be a good name for him? Jim could already tell that the boy would be independent and wild. He was also unconventional. He was…Maverick. A maverick is an unorthodox or independent-minded person. Yes that would be his name from now on. “Maverick…your name is Maverick,” Jim stated as if it couldn’t be any other name. “Maverick…Maverick, I like it,” the newly dubbed Maverick said.

Maverick spent almost every moment with Jim from that moment on. He was there when his mom left once again. He was there to protect him from Frank, who never laid another hand on him after Maverick tripped him down the stairs causing him to break both his legs and his right arm. Maverick was there through Winona’s brief returns and quick exits from his life. He was there throughout the years. He never once thought to leave Jim’s side when he stole his father’s convertible and drove it over a cliff when he was twelve years old.

Most importantly; Maverick was with him throughout his stay on Tarsus IV. He was right next to Jim; helping him when he stole food to feed the kids he helped save from Kodos’ men and he was there when he killed those same men to protect the kids. Maverick was with him when he was captured. It was Maverick who freed him from Kodos’ prison cell and helped him contact Starfleet. He was there throughout the rescue and he was there for the therapy that was to take place for the next few years.

Maverick was always there next to him. They thought that was how it was always going to be until Jim met Leonard Horatio McCoy on the shuttle that took them to Starfleet Academy. Jim didn’t need Maverick as much anymore. He wasn’t lonely, he wasn’t emotionally distressed, and he wasn’t in any real danger. Jim needed his space and felt that Maverick was crowding him. Jim was now twenty-two years old and hadn't really ever been apart from Maverick since the day he met him when he was eight years old.

Jim wasn’t sure how to deal with sharing a two person dorm room with both Maverick and Bones. His friendship with Leonard grew each day. Eventually Leonard was even able to see Maverick. Jim was still feeling crowded. He didn’t need Maverick like he use to, but he didn’t want him to go away forever. Jim was out drinking late with Bones while Maverick stayed in the dorm. He came back really drunk yelling about needing space and it being time that he grew up. The next day when he woke up; Maverick was gone. Jim didn’t see Maverick again for another two and a half years.


	6. Spying on the Captain

_**Chapter 6: Spying on the** _ **Captain**

 

 

Spock woke up earlier then he usually did. He decided that he should meditate on the situation between the Captain and the Doctor. He knew they were very close and that they would guard each others secrets. What he couldn’t figure out was the secondary presence that has been hanging around Kirk. McCoy seemed to know what it was, but he was not talking.

Spock meditated for over an hour and still had no answers. He got ready for his shift even though it was still 2.4 hours away. After he finished getting dressed he heard a knock at his door. He figured it was Nyota and opened the door to let her in. She entered his quarters; dressed for alpha shift and carrying a plant. They both decided that they would get breakfast in the mess hall and head to shift early.

Spock headed to the bathroom that joined his quarters with Kirk’s to retrieve some water for the plant that Nyota had given him. While he was in the bathroom his Vulcan hearing was able to pick up on Kirk’s voice through the door. He was talking to someone who Spock couldn’t hear. The Captain was talking about him…loudly. Even a human would be able to hear him. He knew that it was wrong to eavesdrop on the Captain’s conversations, but he did it anyway. He paid little attention to Nyota as she entered the bathroom to see what was taking him so long with the water. She didn’t say anything as she too heard Kirk’s voice through the door.

“I don’t care! Spock and Uhura can think whatever they want as long as they keep it to themselves. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that includes me. If Uhura can’t help but to think that I’m an ignorant slut who has sex with anything that moves that’s her business as long as she keeps it to herself, because this is my ship and I can and will punish her for it. It’s the same for me. If I want to think that Uhura is a one hit wonder whose only talent is languages and sleeping with her Professors to get where she is now; that’s my business that I need keep to myself,” Kirk said in a huff.

Nyota gapped at the door that separated the bathroom from Kirk’s quarters. Is that what he really thought of her? “Spock is just as guilty with his hypocrisy. Lecturing me about how a captain can’t cheat death and how it was inappropriate to hack his stupid test to make it possible to win; plus it’s not like I hacked it for an automatic win anyway. I was inappropriate? What about him? He was the one who was fucking one of his students,” Kirk yelled and then fell silent for a moment before he started to talk again.

“No, I can’t say that I really care. I will protect them and die for them to the best of my abilities as Captain, because they are a part of this crew. I don’t care about their personal thoughts or feelings on the matter. If they can’t be professional then they are off the ship,” Kirk stated and then fell silent for a few minutes. They figured he was done talking and were about to exit the bathroom when he yelled, “Enter”. They stood still and waited for the visitor to be identified. “Bones! What brings you here so early?” Kirk asked McCoy.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about Spock last night,” he said. Spock lifted an eyebrow and looked at Nyota who shrugged. “Awww…Bones has a little crush does he?” Kirk cooed. “Don’t be ridiculous. I have better taste then that,” McCoy growled out. “In all seriousness; what are we going to do? Spock isn’t the type of person you can brush off so easily and after yesterday you can bet he and his girlfriend are going to be gunning for you,” McCoy questioned as well as warned. Whatever Spock had been hoping to over here this had to be it.

Nyota and Spock listened as Kirk laughed the warning off. “Spock is nothing to worry about. He has no proof of anything, because we haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t even think he told Uhura yet, because there is no physical proof of anything amiss. The only proof he has that something is up and being kept from him is all in his head. Beside it’s not like what is going on with me affects the crew; it’s a personal matter. The only reason you know is because you’re my best friend and I trust you the most,” Kirk stated the facts.

What was it that the Captain was keeping from them? More importantly why was it so important to keep it from Spock? “Damn it Jim! This isn’t a laughing matter!” McCoy yelled. “Bones relax. There are no regulations against this and there are no protocols on how to deal with something like this. It’s never happened before. As far as I know I’m the only one in history that this has ever happened to,” Kirk reassured McCoy.

“So what if they find out. There is nothing they can do about it and let’s be realistic; who’s going to believe them anyway?” Kirk questioned. “I don’t know Jim, but I don’t like it. I just have a very bad felling about this,” McCoy sighed. The room fell silent once again, but this time for a shorter period of time. “He’s right Bones. You worry over everything. Worst case scenario: they find out and report it to the Admiralty. There is no proof so they look like mental cases and are dismissed from the fleet. And let’s say that by some stupid chance they are believed; you said yourself last night that the federation wasn’t into experimenting on people. It’s a win-win for me,” Kirk stated.

Standing in the bathroom listening to Kirk only proved one thing. That Kirk was hiding something important about himself from the rest of the crew with the exception of McCoy. “Maybe we should just tell the senior members of the crew. Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov would probably take it well. They may even crack a few jokes. Uhura and Spock might try to use this against you, but right now I can’t see how that would work in their favor,” McCoy thought out loud.

“No, I’m not going to tell them. I trust Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov a lot, but that’s as professionals. I mean we’re cool and everything and we’re good friend, but it’s not the same as our friendship,” Kirk rejected his idea. “I don’t like Uhura as a person, we are not friends, and she will never in this lifetime gain the level of trust it will take before I trust her with this kind of secret. To top it off I can’t trust Spock. You were right when you told me I should pick someone else for my First Officer,” Kirk said with a quieter voice making it a bit harder for Nyota to hear him.

“Why did you pick them? I mean you never really said why it was so important that those two become members of your crew,” McCoy questioned. “I picked them, because of Spock,” Kirk started to explain, but was cut off by McCoy. “That makes no sense Jim,” McCoy said confused. “Let me finish. I told you about Delta Vega and how I had met an older Vulcan after Spock had marooned me,” Kirk paused for a moment.

“Well…I didn’t tell you everything at the time, because I knew you would flip out and we didn’t have that kind of time,” Kirk said with a large amount of guilt and hesitation in his voice. “Brat, you better start talking and talking fast if you don’t want to end up with a hundred hypos in your neck,” McCoy growled out. “Try to remain calm okay. Well I told you how I was almost eaten twice before I met an older Vulcan who saved me and then he helped me get back on the Enterprise with Scotty,” Kirk paused as if waiting for confirmation from McCoy.

“Well, all of that happened; there was just more to it than that. He knew who I was before I even said anything. All he did was turn around look at me and say my name; James T. Kirk,” Kirk said with fondness in his voice. “When I asked him how he knew my name he said, ‘I have been and always shall be your friend’. I then asked him who he was and to my shock he said his name was Spock,” Kirk continued.

McCoy snorted at Kirk, “You can stop grinning any day now kid and get on with the story”. Kirk laughed, “I naturally called bullshit on that. He wanted to explain it, but it was hard for him. He said it would be easier to explain as he held his hand up to my face,” Kirk hesitated for words. Spock paled in the bathroom as he listened to Kirk’s story about what had happened between himself and Spock’s counterpart.

“‘Our minds; one and together’ that’s what he said to me as he placed his fingers on my face like this,” Kirk stopped talking as he was more than likely showing McCoy how his counterpart had initiated a mind meld with Kirk. Spock’s heart beat a little faster in his side as he listened to a very private moment that took place between his Captain and his counterpart. “I saw it all and then some. Everything he wanted to tell me about Nero, about the destruction of Romulus, and I saw the life I should have had; had Nero not fucked up the timeline. I felt what he had felt, I knew what he had known, and we mourned at the loss together as one,” Jim said wistfully.

“I picked Spock as my First Officer and Uhura as my Communication Officer, because that was how it was in Ambassador Spock’s timeline. We as a crew had accomplished so much. You, me, and Spock more so then the others, but still the missions we did and the amazing things we had done together as a crew. I picked them, because despite my own personal feelings about them; I knew that was something I had wanted. I wanted to be their friend. I wanted us to be an exceptional crew. I know that there is no way in hell we will mirror Ambassador Spock’s crew, but if our crew could even be half as good as his was then I know we will have accomplished something great,” Kirk said with determination.

Kirk fell silent and Spock held his breath. With the way Kirk talked it was almost as if he felt deeply for his counterpart. The silence was broken by Kirk’s laugh. “You know what the funniest thing about all of this is?” he questioned. “No I don’t,” McCoy answered. “Spock and Uhura are the ones that really got the shaft in this universe. Uhura can’t hold a candle to her totally awesome counterpart and the Ambassador is just so much more then I think that Spock is ever capable of being,” Kirk continued to laugh.

Spock felt as if something had gripped his heart and had begun to squeeze it tightly. “That’s messed up Jim. I don’t care for them as people either, but to compare them to their counterparts like that is a little harsh. I may not like Spock, but he did just lose his mother, his planet, and a good chunk of his race. Uhura is just a biased kid. Now that I think about we’re all still pretty young. Who knows one day we may end up being friends with them and we’ll all look back at the drama we put each other through and laugh,” McCoy said.

The room was filled with a loud beeping sound that had come from Kirks computer. “Captain Kirk here,” Kirk said as he answered the call from the bridge. “We have reached Starbase 22 and are awaiting your orders to retrieve the shipment to New Vulcan,” Lieutenant Marks said over the connection. “Proceed with retrieval of shipment. I’m on my way to the transporter room now; Kirk out,” Kirk ordered. “Well Bones, duty calls. We’ll pick this up later,” Kirk said. “Until then Kid,” McCoy replied.

Nyota and Spock stood in the bathroom contemplating what they had overheard. Nyota realized that she was indeed all those things they said; except she didn’t sleep with her teachers to get to where she is now. She has never even slept with Spock and they had been together for a little over four months now.

However, when she thought about it she wasn’t being a very good person or a very good officer. Nyota sat new goals for herself right then and there. She was going to be a better person. She was going to prove to Captain James T. Kirk that she was a good officer and that she could be just as good if not better than her counterpart. She was going to stop judging people and acting like a snob. She was going to spend the rest of this five year mission proving that he can trust her. The first chance she got today she was going to apologize to Captain Kirk.

Spock appeared indifferent as they left the bathroom, but inside his mind was uneasy with uncontrolled emotions. Jim Kirk had a deeper “friendship” with his counterpart then he realized. Spock had no idea that the Captain was even still in contact with the Ambassador. Now he knows that Jim compares him to the Ambassador and that he finds him lacking. Spock was so confused by his emotions. He was feeling things he had never felt before and had no idea how to handle the situation.

What if the Captain and his counterpart were together? He felt something burning with in his abdomen at that thought. The Captain admired his counterpart that much was certain, but to actually have a romantic relationship with him was completely out of the question. Was it not? Jim had to know how wrong it was to become involved with the Ambassador.

What about the Ambassador? He must have used his memories of another Captain James T. Kirk to encourage his Jim Kirk into something. ‘The Ambassador had his chance with his own Jim why is he after mine,’ Spock thought and then froze. The Captain was not his. He didn’t even trust Spock.

This had to be pondered more closely. Spock felt attached to Kirk that was certain, but how deep did that attachment go? Maybe the reason he rebuffed the Captain’s invitation to spend time with him was because he knew deep down that it would draw out those emotion further then he was able to handle. He did think that Jim was an aesthetically pleasing individual with an unusual level of intelligence that was seldom found in humans.

Spock pushed those thought to the back of his mind. He was in a committed relationship with Nyota. His feelings for the Captain whatever they maybe were going to have to be forgotten. He would however keep a closer eye on the interactions between his counterpart and the Captain. With that in mind he headed to the transporter room to meet up with the Captain and watch him for any signs of strange behavior.


	7. An Unwanted Reunion on Starbase 22

**_Chapter 7: An Unwanted Reunion on Starbase 22_ **

 

 

Jim stood in the transporter room with Maverick, Bones, and Scotty. He was just waiting for Spock and a security team. They had to make sure that the shipments of supplies were guarded. Starbase 22 was a neutral base that catered to everyone: the Federation, the Empire, officer, or civilian; it didn’t matter. Jim didn’t want to take any risks of anything happening to the supplies (Medical equipment, replicators, clothes, PADDs etcetera). The Vulcans had already been put through enough.

Maverick was making faces at Leonard who was giving him a dark look that promised retribution later. Maverick had just stuck his tongue out at Leonard, when the rest of the away team to the base arrived. Maverick took his place between Leonard and Jim so that the other members of the team wouldn’t come into contact with him. He was close enough to Leonard for that promised retribution and received a hard pinch to his side for his earlier teasing.

Maverick yelped and gained Jim’s attention. Jim shot him a warning look that caused him to fall silent. “Now that we’re all here; let’s get this over with. Energize Mr. Scott,” Jim said. He felt the shift in molecules that was normally caused by the transporter as he vanished from the Enterprise and reappeared on Starbase 22. The team headed over to the station where they were to pick up the supplies and await the loading shuttle that would arrive within the hour.

“Come with me Mr. Spock,” Jim said as he headed to the station manager. “Yes Captain,” Spock replied as he followed closely behind. “We’ll get all the paperwork out of the way and have everything ready before the shuttle arrives. Bones needs to check the medical inventory and make sure that nothing was forgotten. The sooner we get this over with the sooner we can get these supplies to you people,” Jim said. “That is very logical of you Captain, but I can’t help but to believe that you also have ulterior motives for wanting to reach New Vulcan as soon as possible,” Spock stated.

“Are you saying that I’m not concerned for your suffering people?” Jim asked Spock darkly. “Not at all Captain, but I just think that you want to reach the planet for another reason besides the relief supplies,” Spock stated. “Do you? I think your paranoid Mr. Spock,” Jim stated as he looked at Spock as if he had grown another head. “You are not looking forward to seeing a certain Ambassador?” Spock questioned with a hint of emotion that Jim couldn’t quite identify. Jim looked at him confuse, “You mean your Dad? Isn’t Sarek the Ambassador we’re picking up? I have never even spoken to your dad. I’m sure he’s a nice enough guy and everything, but he’s just another Ambassador to me,” Jim shrugged as he waited at the station manager’s counter for acknowledgement.

“You are certain that the Ambassador and his party that we are to retrieve from New Vulcan is my Father and not my counterpart?” Spock questioned. “The last time I spoke to Ambassador Spock he was very happy staying on the planet and helping your people rebuild. He has never said anything to me about leaving the planet for any kind of diplomatic mission,” Jim answered.

“Does that upset you? The fact that my counterpart won’t be coming with the Ambassador’s group?” Spock asked. “Well, I haven’t really thought about it. I mean I talk to him at least twice a week or more depending on how the week went. He’s always good for a game of chess. Why all the sudden interest?” Jim asked.

“I believe that you have an unnatural attachment to my counterpart,” Spock stated as Jim caught another hint of emotion from Spock. Jim started laughing. “Don’t worry about my relationship with Ambassador Spock. My feelings towards him or my friendship with him doesn’t affect you or concern you in any way,” Jim bit out slightly annoyed.

The station manager arrived just in time to put an end to the no doubt on coming argument. The station manager informed them that the shipment would be ready for transport in twenty minutes. Both Captain and Commander signed off on everything they needed to and headed back to the awaiting group without another word to each other. Jim kept shooting Spock dark looks for being a busybody about his relationship with the Ambassador.

Jim was not in the mood to be bothered and ignored everyone around him; including Maverick. ‘How dare he,’ Jim thought. ‘He doesn’t even want to be my friend. What gives him the right to judge my friendships (even if it is with a different version of himself)?’ Jim thought darkly. Jim was so lost in thought he didn’t notice as someone came up behind him.

“So, little Jimmy’s all grown up now; he thinks he’s too good for his Ma? Why haven’t you been to see your Ma recently or even called?” asked a harsh voice that sometimes haunts his nightmares. “Frank, what an unpleasant and unwanted surprise! You and my incubator still shacking up?” Jim asked as he took on a cocky attitude. Spock and the security team watched on in morbid fascination. Bones and Maverick were waiting to see if they were going to have to jump in to prevent a fight.

“Listen brat, you better show some respect. Your Mama has been real upset lately cause you and your bother never come around. You didn’t even stop by the farm before your mission. I brought her out here to take her mind off of it, but now that you’re here you can sit down and talk with her before you disappear again,” Frank hissed as he edged closer to Jim.

“And what if I don’t want to? She made her choice long ago. She was a terrible mother and never should have been allowed to have children. I’m not even sure why you care how she feels about me or my brother. In case you have forgotten you helped her run off both her kids,” Jim grinned as he pointed out Frank’s less than stellar parenting.

“I don’t want to see that woman ever again in life. As far as I’m concerned she’s you problem not mine. Now run along. Some of us have work to do”, Jim stated as he glared at Frank. Bones and Maverick were cheering Jim on mentally while Spock and the security team couldn’t believe what they were hearing.

“You don’t get it boy. I’ll make you if I have to,” He growled out as he went to reach for Jim. Spock moved to intervene, but Jim shot him a warning look that stopped him in his tracks. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Remember what happened last time you put your hands on me?” Jim asked innocently. Everyone watched as Frank paled and started to look around in fear.

“You still pal around with that thing?!” Frank hissed and then back pedaled. “You’re not a kid anymore Jim, don’t expect me to believe that you still have that thing protecting you,” Frank said as he grabbed Jim in a painful grip. Every one of Jim’s crew members moved to stop him, but it was pointless, for Frank yelped in pain soon after he touched him and immediately let him go. He held his left shoulder with his right hand and looked around violently. “You were saying?” Jim asked with a grin after he had watched Maverick slam his fist into Frank’s shoulder.

Frank started throwing punches hazardously at the air. “I thought by now you would have out grown that thing?!” Frank yelled as he kept swinging his fists. Maverick dodged every fist that flew his way. When he had a clear shot he punched Frank in the solar plexus pretty hard. Frank went down without any more fight as the station security came to escort him to a holding cell for the time being.

The only people who caught on that Frank was fighting with someone or something that no one else could see; were the members of Jim’s crew. They knew that something that they couldn’t see had protected their Captain. Spock was most fascinated by the turn of events that had just occurred. He knew that he would have his chance now once they were back on the Enterprise to confront the Captain without getting a brush off.

Jim was a very unhappy camper at this point in time. Frank had caused both Jim and Maverick to expose Maverick in a public place. There was no way he was going to be able to brush this off as mass hallucinations. Jim looked at his crew; that were now staring at him questioningly.

Jim sighed and said the first thing that came to his head. “Sorry you had to see that. My Step-father isn’t all there upstairs if you know what I mean,” Jim said as they were approached by the station manager. The station manager informed the crew that the shipment was ready to load on to the shuttle as soon as it arrived. Jim nodded his head in thanks and handed out assignments to his crew.

“Bones, Spock, I want you guys to make sure that everything that the Vulcans need are in the crates,” Jim ordered. Jim then told the guards to protect the shipment and the rest of the crew. He took out his communicator and contacted the shuttle. When he received confirmation that the shuttle would be arriving within the next twenty minutes he informed the crew and helped Spock and Leonard finish the inventory check.

He waited by impatiently as the shuttle arrived and was loaded. Jim wanted to get off the Starbase as quickly as possible lest he have a run in with Winona as well. Jim sighed in relief as he watched the last crate be loaded. He took out his communicator and waited for the shuttle to start heading back to the Enterprise before calling for a beam out. Jim, Leonard, Maverick, Spock, and the security team disappeared from the Starbase and reappeared on the Enterprise in the transporter room.

Jim tried to make a break for it, but was stopped by Spock. “Captain, about the occurrences that took place on the Starbase-” Spock started, but was cut off. “Don’t worry about it Spock. Some families just don’t get along with each other. I know it’s hard to believe coming form a great family like yours. I believe that I not only speak for myself, but my brother as well when I say I would rather off myself in the most painful way possible then spend more time with those people then I have to,” Jim said as he waved Spock away.

“The nature of your family relationships is not what I wish to discuss with you,” Spock stated. “Is this about what my step-dad said, because if it is you should know the man is a drunk. He can’t stay sober to save his life, let alone tell the truth,” Jim replied defensively. “No Captain, I believe that there was some truth to what he said. For I too have felt another presence that lingers so close to your own,” Spock said in a voice that said he wasn’t buying Jim’s lame lie.

“Maybe it’s time to do what we discussed this morning,” Leonard suggested. Jim gave an angry huff and stomped away from the group. “Just so we’re clear I am not happy about this. I’ll call a meeting with the main bridge crew and the crew that was on Starbase 22 with us; we’ll talk about it then. Until that time I don’t want to hear anything about it,” Jim ordered and left no chance for an argument.

Jim spent the rest of his shift thinking up lies to tell his crew. Each knew lie he thought up was way too far out there and unbelievable. He knew his crew mates were not stupid (which was why he chose them to begin with) and knew that they would not fall for any of his usual bullshit that he says to throw people off the idea that Maverick is real. He was getting desperate by the time the new rumors reached his ears.

Just before the Shift ended; Jim sent messages out to the main bridge crew and the security team to inform them that there would be a meeting after shift. Jim hoped that he would be able to explain Maverick to a bunch of people who couldn’t see him. Explaining it to Leonard was hard enough. When the shift ended Jim braced himself for the inevitable and headed to the meeting room as slowly as possible. He swallowed his fear as he reached the meeting room. He stood in the doorway unsure how to continue until he felt Maverick’s reassuring hand on his shoulder. He stepped into the room that was already filled with everyone who was summoned to the meeting and took a deep breath.


	8. Crew Meet Maverick

_**Chapter 8: Crew Meet Maverick** _

 

 

“I’m not sure how to go about this,” Jim started. “Telling the truth to Bones was easy, because we had to share a room and we were already best friends from day one,” Jim said. “Captain, why don’t you start by explaining what happened on the Starbase and go from there?” one of the security team members suggested.

“Okay well as some of you are now aware of; my family doesn’t really get along. That guy who ran into us is my step-dad. He’s a drunk with a nasty temper. Some things happened when I was younger that led to Maverick biting him and tripping him down the stairs causing him to break both his legs and an arm. After that any time Frank got to close to me Maverick would do little things to discourage that. He would pinch him, pull his hair, or punch him in the arm. He would do whatever to make Frank back off. That is what happened on the Starbase. Frank put his hands on me and he freaked out because of the lasting effect Maverick has on him. Then again Maverick has that effect on a lot of people,” Jim said fondly.

“Why didn’t Maverick just remove you from the house?” Uhura asked. “Maverick is the same age as me. You don’t really expect a kid to be able to take custody of another kid do you?” Jim said bitterly. “Besides…there is more to it than that. Let me ask you guys this; this doesn’t apply to you Bones: when we were on the Starbase did you guys see anyone else around us?” Jim asked.

He looked at each one of them as they said ‘No’ or shook their head from side to side. “So that means that all you guys saw was some lunatic flip out and start throwing punches at nothing,” Jim said. “There was someone else there,” he stated. “The reality of the situation is that I’m very rarely alone. I was for about a year and half recently, but that’s not the point. Maverick punched Frank in the shoulder in order to get him to let me go,” Jim said. The room fell totally silent.

Jim waited patiently for the outbreak of disbelief that was sure to come. “The Captain’s lost it. There was no one else there,” Cried another member of the security team. Jim listened as the rest of the crew joined in and started arguing back and forth. Jim let out a sharp whistle to get everyone to be quite.

“I can prove it,” Jim said as he gained their silence and attention once more. “Maverick is here in this room with us,” Jim said as everyone started to look around. “There is no one else here Captain,” Sulu said as he looked at Jim in concern. Jim noticed that Chekov was holding his PADD and decided to make him a part of the example.

“Chekov raise your hand and hold out your PADD,” Jim ordered. He waited until Chekov had obeyed him in confusion. “Maverick, this is Ensign Chekov. I want you to retrieve the PADD that he is holding in his hand and bring it to me,” Jim said. The room fell silent waiting to see what would happen.

Leonard and Jim watched Maverick roll his eyes and walk over to Chekov. Maverick grabbed the PADD and pulled it from his hands. The room erupted in shrikes of disbelief as they watched a PADD float over into their Captain’s hands. “Calm down!” Leonard yelled. “It really isn’t that impressive,” he mumbled.

“Of course it’s not impressive to you Bones,” Jim laughed as Leonard crossed his arms in a huff. “His name is Maverick. He’ll be around for awhile, but don’t worry he’s pretty harmless unless I’m in danger or something,” Jim informed his crew. He gave the PADD back to Maverick who quickly returned it to a still stunned Chekov.

“If I may be permitted to ask a few questions, Captain,” Spock requested. “If you insist,” Jim said as he took the empty seat next to Leonard. “What is Maverick?” Spock asked the most simple yet most difficult question first. “Maverick is a manifestation of the hopes and wishes made by an eight year old little boy. In other words Commander; he’s my “imaginary” friend,” Jim said with a grin. “I created him when I needed someone the most. I’m not sure what else I can say about him,” Jim looked thoughtful as the rest of the crew in the room listened in silence.

“How is it possible that he is able to exist even if unseen?” Spock looked perplexed as if he struggled to find the right words. “You mean how is it that he can move things and basically move around like a real person without being detected?” Jim asked. Spock nodded, “Affirmative”. Jim thought about it. “Well, we’re not sure, but it might have something to do with my abilities that were driving me nuts as a kid. The reason he goes undetected however, is because of years of practice,” Jim answered as best as he could.

“Are you the only one who has ever seen or communicated with you friend Maverick?” Spock questioned. “No, only one other person that I know of has ever been able to see him. It’s hard for them to communicate because, he can’t hear Maverick. It’s still pretty weird for me when I watch them interact. I can’t imagine what it must be like to spend time with a person I could see, but never hear,” Jim said sadly.

Spock took a moment to think about his next question. His thoughts were interrupted by a yelp from the Doctor. Everyone turned to look at him. Leonard stood up and turned around. He reached out and grabbed the air. He looked like he was holding on to someone’s wrist. “How many times have I told you not to do that? It feels weird,” Leonard yelled as he stopped Maverick from blowing on the back of his neck.

Jim laughed as he watched his two best friends pick on each other. The second Maverick had started making faces at Leonard; Leonard retaliated by pinching and pulling Maverick’s cheeks. “So, Doctor McCoy is the one who can see him,” Spock stated. “Yep! It was actually kind of funny when he realized that I wasn’t making shit up,” Jim laughed. “It wasn’t that funny,” Leonard replied as he shoved Maverick away, but kept an eye on him. He glared as Maverick pointed and laughed at him.

“Yes, it was otherwise Maverick wouldn’t be laughing at you right now,” Jim said. “It was Halloween Jim! Anyone could have made the same mistake,” Leonard defended himself as he crossed his arms over his chest and shot Jim a dirty look. “So…what happened?” Uhura asked. Jim opened his mouth to tell wheat would no doubt be an embellished version of what had happened, but was stopped by Leonard. “Oh no you don’t! I’ll tell them the truth of what happened,” Leonard said.

“Well, Jim had told me all about Maverick and of course I didn’t believe him. I humored him, but brushed if off as a joke he was trying to pull on me. This was all back before I could see Maverick. Even after I tripped over Maverick because he was sitting in the middle of the damn floor watching TV; I still brushed it off as my imagination playing tricks on me,” Leonard started his story.

“Jim and I grew closer as friends and things started to change. We trusted each other more, shared are darkest secrets, and spent pretty much all of our free time together. It was Halloween and Jim had been bugging me about going to a Halloween party off campus. I wasn’t really up to it and I never wanted to go in the first place. After I finished my last class I headed back to our room to catch up on some much needed sleep. The second I walked into the door I ran into Jim who was already dressed up in a Halloween costume, or so I thought. Before he could say anything I brushed him off telling him to have fun without me and that I was going to get some sleep,” Leonard continued.

“I was too tired to notice that he didn’t reply. I headed to the bathroom and ran into Jim as he was coming out. He was still dressed in his cadet reds. That made no sense what so ever because I had just seen him in his costume. I turned around and saw the same person I had seen before and then back at Jim. I thought I was seeing double. Jim looked at me in confusion until I pointed at Maverick. When he realized that I could see Maverick he looked shocked. Maverick did one of his damn Houdini tricks and appeared next to Jim. I may have passed out from exhaustion and shock,” Leonard finished.

“I still can’t believe you thought Maverick was me,” Jim said. “What’s not to believe? He looks almost exactly like you. The only difference is his black spiky hair, creepy eye color, and his big pointed elf ears that put even Spock’s to shame,” Leonard replied. Maverick’s rebuttal to Leonard’s less then polite descriptions of his differences was to give Leonard a hard pinch to his arm; which caused him to cry out in pain. “If that leaves a bruise; I’ll inject you with something painful,” Leonard threatened Maverick as he rubbed his arm where he had pinched him.

“Okay that’s enough you guys,” Jim spoke up next to them. “Now everyone here knows the basics of Maverick’s existence. Now we can all go about our lives as normally as possible,” Jim ordered as he stood up from his seat and headed for the door. “Everyone dismissed. Bones are you coming with us?” Jim asked as he waited at the door. Leonard opened his mouth to answer, but was pulled out of his seat before he could say anything.

Maverick pulled Leonard along by his arm until they reached Jim. “Looks like I don’t have much of a choice Kid,” Leonard replied good-naturedly. Jim laughed as they left the meeting room and headed to Jim’s quarters. “Well, that turned out well enough,” Leonard stated. Jim snorted. “I guess it could have been worse,” Jim replied.

“I hope we can all move past this by the time we pick up the Ambassador tomorrow. The last thing we need is a crew freaking out over what really amounts to nothing and causing an issue with the visiting dignitaries,” Jim said. “I’ll have you know I resent that. I am very much something and not a nothing thank you very much,” Maverick huffed indignantly.

“You know very well what I meant and on that note I have one more thing to add. I don’t want you causing any problems either. You are to be on your best behavior while the Vulcans are aboard this ship,” Jim ordered and left Maverick with no room for argument. “Aye aye Mon Capitan,” Maverick replied with a salute. Even though Maverick was goofing around as he said it Jim knew that Maverick would obey this order. Maverick was many things, but an outright trouble maker for Jim was not one of them.

The three friends walked the rest of the way to Jim’s quarters in silence. When they got there Jim proposed they watch a movie while they had some snacks. Leonard was reluctant at first to allow snacks so close to dinner time, but quickly agreed when he received the puppy eyes from both Jim and Maverick.

They had a brief fight over who was going to pick the movie. In the end Jim and Maverick let Leonard pick, because he was being cool enough to let them have junk food if only for the time being. Leonard settled for ‘the Three Musketeers’ movie that came out sometime in the 1990’s. The movie was enjoyed by all. The rest of the evening was spent goofing off; playing never have I ever and truth or dare. Not that truth or dare went very far considering how much they drank playing never have I ever.

Once it got to late Leonard bid his friends good night and headed to his own room. It was times like this when Jim missed the old days of being a cadet. The day’s when he could get as drunk as he wanted, joke around with his friends and blow off the next day of classes if he wasn’t up to it.

He shook off those thoughts as he got ready for bed. Who was he kidding he wouldn’t trade being the Captain of the Enterprise for anything in the universe. He crawled into bed and quickly fell asleep with thoughts of tomorrow pushed to the deepest parts of his mind.


	9. Welcome aboard Ambassador

**_Chapter 9: Welcome aboard Ambassador_ **

 

 

Jim worked in his ready room filling out reports and signing paperwork. He wasn’t needed on the bridge at this moment so he figured he would catch up on his back paperwork. He sat there cursing said paperwork to the deepest darkest pits of hell when he was interrupted by a buzz from his communicator. “Captain Kirk here,” he said.

“Captain we will reach New Vulcan in two hours,” Uhura informed him. “Thank you Lieutenant. Kirk out,” he said as he closed his communicator. He looked around his silent office and sighed. Maverick was off doing who knows what to Bones while he was board doing paperwork. ‘Knowing Maverick he was just hanging around Bones without really bothering him right now because Bones is working,’ Jim thought.

Jim had sent Maverick with Leonard for the day, so that he wouldn’t be a distraction while he did his paperwork. Jim sighed and got back to his paperwork. This was probably the only thing he could think of at the moment that would cause him to regret becoming a captain.

Jim continued with his paperwork until he was finished for the day. Jim was in good spirits as he sent off the last report to the Admiralty. He looked at the clock on his computer and realized that they would be arriving at New Vulcan within twenty minutes. He stretched as he stood up and headed for the bridge.

“Status report Mr. Spock,” Jim said as he entered the bridge. Spock turned to look at him as he vacated the Captain’s chair. “Everything is on schedule Captain. We will be arriving at New Vulcan in 17.23 minutes,” Spock answered. “Good, Lieutenant Uhura send a message to the Ambassador’s party informing them that we’ll be arriving shortly,” Jim ordered as he took his seat in the Captain’s chair.

The crew went about their work for another six minutes before Jim spoke again. “Uhura call for replacements for Spock and yourself. Then send a message to Doctor McCoy to meet us in the transporter room and tell the delivery team to stand by for confirmation that we have reached the planet before they launch the shuttle. When you’re done with that; join us in the transporter room,” Jim stated. “Sulu you’ll have the Con while we greet our guests,” Jim said as he stood to head to the transporter room.

Jim waited patiently for the rest of the welcoming committee to arrive. He was surprised when Leonard came in to the transporter room alone. “Where’s Maverick,” Jim asked. “Last I saw that loony he had materialized some headphones and was dancing around and singing to some song I couldn’t hear,” Leonard said as he took his place next to Jim.

“As long as he is behaving himself I don’t care what he does,” Jim stated as they were joined by Spock and Uhura. Uhura told Jim that the shuttle had been launched and was an hour away from reaching the planet. Scotty informed Jim that the Vulcan party was standing by waiting for beam out. Jim gave Scotty the go ahead to beam them aboard and waited.

Jim was surprised by the Ambassador that greeted them upon arrival. “Jim it is always gratifying to see you,” Spock Prime greeted as he reached his friend. “Spock! I thought the Ambassador that we were picking up was Sarek. Not that I’m not happy to see you, but why are you the Ambassador for this mission?” Jim babbled happily.

“Forgive me, but I just couldn’t resist the chance to be aboard the Enterprise once more,” Spock Prime said fondly as he looked at the counterpart to his lost friend. “No, it’s fine with me. You probably don’t need one, but would you like a tour? Now that I think about it there are two Spock’s aboard this ship what am I supposed to call you? I don’t want to keep calling you Ambassador and it’s going to get confusing real fast if I call you Spock,” Jim questioned.

“In the past when I had missions where it was prohibited to use my given name I went by Selek. You may address me by that name. It has also been awhile since I have been aboard the Enterprise, so I wouldn’t say no to you showing me around,” Spock answered receiving a bright smile from Jim. “Awesome! I’ll be more than happy to show you around. We can also catch up. I haven’t talked to you in forever!” Jim whined causing the newly dubbed Selek to raise his eyebrow just like his younger counterpart does when Jim says something illogical. “It has only been 2.13 days since we last conversed Jim. That can hardly be considered forever,” Selek stated. “You know what I mean,” Jim laughed.

Spock cleared his throat to get Jim’s attention off of his counterpart. They both looked at the currently titled Commander Spock. “Captain we should show the rest of the Ambassador’s party to their quarters,” Spock said trying to hold back his irrational irritation at his counterpart. “You and Uhura can do that while Bones and I show the Ambassador around,” Jim pointed out as if that was the plan all along. Spock did not agree with this and was about to say so before Uhura came up with a better idea in his opinion.

“It’s okay Captain. I can show our guests to their quarters all on my own,” Uhura volunteered quickly when she saw a dark look appear in Spock’s eyes. ‘Maybe I should have been more concerned about Spock leaving me for the Captain instead of the Captain trying to take him from me,’ Uhura thought a little bitterly. “I guess that’s fine too,” Jim said at a loss as to what just happened. Uhura led the rest of the Vulcan party away making a promise to herself to have a long conversation with her boyfriend after shift. She looked back in time to see Jim leading Selek and McCoy out of the transporter room and down another hallway. They were followed closely behind by Spock who was basically sizing up his counterpart.

“Do you want to see the Science Lab’s first?” Jim asked Selek. “Whatever you want to show me is fine Jim,” Selek replied. “Oh okay…We should go see Sickbay then. It is closer,” Jim said unable to control is excitement. “You better not cause any problems in my Sickbay Jim!” Leonard yelled at his friend.

“What’s the worst thing that could possibly happen? You should learn to relax Bones,” Jim ginned not paying attention to the loud noise he heard getting closer. He quickly lost his grin as they turned another corner. He stared ahead at the seemingly empty hallway shaking his head in both embarrassment and amusement. He wasn’t sure which he felt more at the moment, but it was more than likely the amusement. “Crazy lunatic,” Leonard grumbled to himself.

There not even ten feet in front of them was Maverick. He was dancing around and singing loudly. Jim listened as Maverick continued to sing. ‘If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on sugar let me know, if you really need me just reach out and touch me, come on honey tell me so,’ Maverick sang. Jim shook his head as he recognized the song by Rod Stewart.

“It is gratifying to see that no matter how much our universes differ some things seem to be universal. Maverick seems to be in bright spirits today. The last time I heard him sing it was to the Birthday Song,” Selek said calmly. Spock and Leonard where both shocked by this revelation, however it was for two different reasons. “You can see Him,” Spock asked at the same time Leonard yelled, “You can hear him?!” Jim just stared at Selek confused.

“Wait let me get this straight…you can not only see Maverick, but you can also hear him?” Jim questioned. “Your counterpart had Maverick as a friend as well. I met him after my Jim and I grew closer. I take it that Leonard is the only other person who can see Maverick?” Selek questioned as he shot his younger counterpart a discreetly pitying look.

“Yeah, I thought that Bones was the only person who would ever be able to see him. Was he able to in your universe, and if he could see him was he also able to hear him?” Jim asked while he wondered how different his Maverick is when compared to his counterparts. “No, Leonard was never able to see or hear Maverick, but he knew that he was there,” Selek answered.

Spock listened as Selek told Jim about the Maverick of his universe all the while burning with anger at the unfairness of his exclusion from that part of Jim’s life. Logically he knew that he brought it on himself, but emotionally he was still wanted what seemed to be freely given to his counterpart. He would speak to Jim about it later.

“How is it that you are able to see Maverick? Could you always see and hear him?” Jim asked Selek happily. “No, I couldn’t. It was an ability I gained over time. I was only able to fully see Maverick after our minds were joined the first time. I was able to hear him after a strong bond was formed,” Selek answered cryptically.

Spock wanted to question the nature of the bond that was shared between his counterpart’s and his Captain’s, so he did. “What type of bond did you share with your Captain,” Spock asked unable to hide his jealousy from Selek. Selek looked at the younger more troubled version of himself and was able to see all of his conflicting emotions. If he remembered correctly Jim had told him that Spock was currently in a relationship with Nyota Uhura and had no business butting into Jim’s personal life.

Selek was not stupid. There is only so long a Vulcan can resist the pull of T’hy’la. Selek himself tried to resist the call and even tried to purge his T’hy’la from his mind when he sought the Kolinahr. Selek wondered how hard he would have to push this version of himself before he admitted his attachment to Jim. He received an impatient look from Spock. “T’hy’la,” he finally answered. He was rewarded with silent disbelief.

He turned back to his other two companions; giving Spock the brush off. “You wanted to show me the Sickbay Jim,” Selek reminded the young captain. Jim had started to give Maverick dirty looks when he came over to them, but had turned back to Selek when he called his name. “Huh? Oh yeah Sickbay…could you excuse me for a moment,” Jim asked as he excused himself. Jim grabbed Maverick’s arm and pulled him away from the group.

He stopped a few feet away from the rest of his friends. He was far enough away that Human ears wouldn’t pick up what he was saying, but not far enough away for Vulcan ears. Jim yanked the headphones off of Maverick’s head and watched them disappear. “What are you doing? I thought we were in agreement that you would behave yourself? Dancing around the hallway is a good way to get trampled and caught,” Jim glared at Maverick. “What possessed you to take your one man party to the hallway?” Jim was unimpressed by Maverick’s sudden lack of sense.

“Well, Leonard was busy and I didn’t want to bother him, so I decided to listen to some music and I got side tracked,” Maverick pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t be such a big baby. There is someone I want you to meet,” Jim said to a confused Maverick.

“Umm…I hate to break it to you, but you do remember that I can’t be seen by anyone other than you and Leonard right?” Maverick asked Jim in concern. “I thought so to, but there is someone else who can not only see you but hear you as well”.

“Really, that’s never happened before. Who is it? When can I meet them?” Maverick asked in excitement. “How about now?” Jim didn’t wait for Maverick’s reply. He pulled him back over to his group of friends. “Maverick this is Ambassador Spock who we will be calling Selek for the duration of his visit. He is Commander Spock’s counterpart from another universe. He has met another version of you before,” Jim said as he introduced Maverick to Selek.

“Greeting Maverick, it has been a long time since I have been in the company of one such as yourself,” Selek greeted. “So, you can see me and you can hear me?” Maverick asked him. “Indeed I can,” Selek answered as he raised his eyebrow in wonder at Maverick’s redundant question. “Just had to make sure,” Maverick said.

“I thought that perhaps you didn’t exist in this universe, because when I came across Jim he was alone”. The guilt that Maverick felt when Selek pointed out Delta Vega was over shadowed by Jim’s. Jim still blamed himself for Maverick’s disappearance two years ago. Maverick just felt guilty for leaving Jim alone for so long.

“Yeah, we all have to grow up sometime. Having your imaginary friend around once you have reached adult hood is kind of counterproductive to that,” Maverick said as he shrugged his guilt away. What happened in the past; should stay in the past. There was no changing it so why waste energy playing the shoulda woulda coulda game.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter where he was. How about we finish that tour?” Jim said quickly. Selek agreed and followed Jim to Sickbay. Once they finished the tour of Sickbay Leonard bowed out from the rest saying he had more important things to do then tour a ship he lives on.

Spock remained with the Ambassador and Jim for the rest of the tour. He was concerned at what could happen should he leave them to their own devices. He had already watched the Ambassador flirt openly with Jim multiple times; who just accepted it as normal. This lead Spock to believe that the Ambassador was after Jim for other reasons then friendship. Spock was determined to protect Jim even if it was from himself. He wasn’t going to be leaving them alone together anytime soon if he could help it.

Spock knew that he would have to meditate after he parted from Jim, because his emotions were becoming harder to control with each passing second he had to watch his counterpart show his “fondness” for Jim. The tour was thankfully cut short when Jim was contacted by the bridge telling him he had an important message from the Admiralty. Spock volunteered to show Selek his quarters while the Captain responded to the message. Jim apologized to Selek promising to make it up to him while he grabbed Maverick and headed off to respond to the Admirals; leaving Spock alone with Selek.


	10. Spock Vs Spock (A.K.A. Selek)

_**Chapter10: Spock Vs Spock (A.K.A. Selek)** _

 

 

Both Spock and Selek watched the Captain leave until he had fully vanished from their sight. Once he was finely gone they turned on each other. “You should cease your attempts to gain the Captain’s romantic favor. It is very unseemly for someone of your notable age to be acting like a teenage human,” Spock said as he glared openly at Selek.

“Jealousy does not become you young one. I realize that this might be difficult for you to grasp, however I must point out that if I desire to seek a romantic companionship from Jim I am with in my rights to do so. He is not currently in a romantic relationship and therefore he is as humans say up for grabs,” Selek stated as he remained the picture perfect specimen of Vulcan appearance.

“You are shameless. The Captain will not welcome your advances. The most you can expect to receive from him in your romantic infatuation towards his person is pity,” Spock hissed at his counterpart. Selek was finding it hard not to laugh at Spock. He knew exactly what Spock was feeling for he too had felt those emotions when others pursued Jim romantically in the past.

“Jim has never rejected my advances. In fact it is quite the contrary; he always seems to welcome them,” Selek said causing Spock’s face to turn green in anger. “I am baffled as to why you care so much about Jim’s personal life. He has informed me on many occasions that you have no interest in even being his friend. Could it be that you wish to earn Jim’s attentions?” Spock was floored by Selek’s bold question.

“I am not sexually interested in Captain Kirk,” Spock denied emotionlessly. “If you are not interested in Jim; then why are you so concerned by my pursuit of him? You are in a relationship with Lieutenant Uhura are you not? Is your relationship so unfulfilling that you must make sure those around you can never have a gratifying relationship?” Selek wanted his counterpart to be honest with himself, but he knew that wouldn’t happen until he was pushed into understanding the emotions that he has never felt before he met one James T. Kirk.

“My relationship with the Lieutenant has no bearing in this conversation. We are discussing the Captain. The Captain can find sexual gratification with whoever he pleases. It matters not to me”. It looked as saying so had caused Spock pain. “That is most fortuitous to hear from you Spock. Since you don’t care who Jim deems worthy of his regard in this then it should not concern you that I will continue my attempts to gain Jim’s favor,” Selek said knowing that the opposite of his words were indeed true.

“This is preposterous. James does not need you in his life,” Spock said as if it was a known fact. “James is it now? Let me inform you of something you may have missed; James T. Kirk was mine once upon a time and I can guarantee that it would be no hardship for me to regain him; even if it is a younger inexperienced version of him. It matters not to me that the current Jim Kirk is not exactly the same as my own was, for it is not his life experience that draw me to him. It is his mind and soul; no matter what version of Jim Kirk I have come across it has always been this way,” Selek admitted.

While it was true he was always drawn to Jim’s different counterparts that he has come across over the years; he never loved them like he loved his Jim. For him the James T. Kirk of his own universe was his one true love and no matter how similar they were; Selek knew he would never love this Jim the way he loved his own. Jim was meant for a Spock. This young bitter confused Spock who was doing everything in his power to deny any attraction he had to Jim.

‘Oh to be young and naive once more,’ Selek thought as he looked at Spock. He remembers when he too tried so hard to deny his feeling for his friend and was bound and determined to claim the relationship between them was just a very strong friendship. The stubbornness he had back then could only be matched by his own T’hy’la’s.

‘T’hy’la I wish you were here to see this. I wonder what you would think as you watched these versions of ourselves dance around each other so. Would you feel nostalgic fondness for your younger counterpart as he continues to believe that the only reason he has been chasing after my younger counterpart is his friendship? Would you be able to contain your sorrow as you watched as mine pushed yours away time and time again for the counterpart of our dear friend Nyota Uhura?’ Selek pondered.

‘I am sorry T’hy’la…’ Selek thought as he pictured his lost friend’s reactions to the suffering of their counterparts. Jim would grieve for all that these younger versions could have been. He would mourn for both their counterparts for all that they had lost in life. Jim would probably try to give them more information then was necessary about their possible futures.

“Are you so willing to replace your T’hy’la with someone else’s?” Spock questioned quietly. Selek avoided the question by giving Spock some much needed advice. “You are in a relationship with someone else. You might want to remedy that before you name another as T’hy’la. You should also reach out to Jim for his friendship before you jump into a relationship with him. It would help you understand him a little and make you better equipped on how to handle his constant illogical behavior”. Spock looked thoughtful as Selek mentioned Jim’s friendship.

“I’ll leave you with one last little known fact about James T. Kirk. He is very dense,” Selek said as if it should be a well known law. “The Captain is highly intelligent for a human. I do not understand why you would refer to him as dense,” Spock replied in slight confusion.

“Yes, Jim is exceedingly intelligent. However, when it comes to matters of the heart he is not the brightest. He is easily manipulated by people who claim to love him. He also has difficulty recognizing when a person is sincerely interested in him or if they just want a brief sexual encounter. Jim does not think that he wants to be loved or that he is even capable of falling in love; so he is very flighty when it comes to his romances,” Selek started to explain.

“I loved him for a long time before we bonded. He never noticed. Leonard once said to me, ‘When it comes to love, Jim is as dense as a sack of hammers. You’re going to have to spell it out for him point blank if you ever really want his attention. And if you ask me you have a damn good shot. Jim probably doesn’t realize it yet, but he loves you too’. I informed the Doctor that he was being illogical as neither I nor Jim had such feelings towards each other,” Selek said.

“It is perfectly fine if you find that you cannot love Jim. Out of all the parallel universes that I have seen that has never been the case. Just do not begrudge him the small amount of happiness he receives from being with me even if it is only as friends. As Leonard would say, ‘you cannot have your cake and eat it too’. I may not be able to take Jim away from you completely if you continue to treat him as you have thus far, but I will make sure that for every misdeed you cause against him you will suffer as well. Jim is not a toy you can place to the side when you get bored with it and neither is Nyota,” Selek warned as he looked down the hallway Jim had dissapeard into.

Spock was still at a loss as to what he should do. “You should meditate on this. Our lives maybe so completely different that Jim is not really what you seek in a bondmate. Only you can decide what is best for yourself,” Selek said as if he had read Spock’s mind. “I will take my leave and let you ponder on what has just occurred. No one starts an argument over something they care nothing about,” Selek said as he walked away from a confused Spock. Spock had never been so conflicted in his life. Not even when he was a child dealing with the prejudice of the other Vulcan children. He would meditate. Logically he hadn’t been doing so enough lately for his mind to fall into such disarray.

Spock didn’t even think about the fact that he didn’t show his counterpart to his quarters as he headed to his own. He was too engrossed in the belief that once he meditated he would have the answers he was searching for. Once he had his answers he would make his decisions on what to do next.


	11. Could He Be T’hy’la?

_**Chapter 11: Could He Be T’hy’la?** _

 

 

Jim Kirk is T’hy’la; at least according to his counterpart. Spock may currently be feeling off balance because of one Jim Kirk, but that did not make him T’hy’la. Spock found Jim loud, reckless, selfish, conceited, and promiscuous among other things.

They were currently not even friends. How could they be T’hy’la when they haven’t even breached the first gap that would lead to that. Three things: Friend, Brother, Lover. How can they reach T’hy’la when they can’t even accomplish having a friendship?

Spock realized that logically this was his fault. Jim had reached out to him on no less then sixty-seven different occasions and Spock had denied his requests each and every time. One day, without even noticing it; the invitations stopped. Jim didn’t approach him for anything unless it was ship or mission related. He had lost interest in Spock. It was like he had given up on having any kind of contact with Spock outside of a working environment.

That thought stung more than he ever thought possible. Had Jim grown tired of trying to gain his attention? What if he no longer cared to even be his friend? Jim had to have a limit to how much rejection he could take. Spock never paid enough attention to Jim to notice any change in behavior unless it was drastic.

Lately Jim seemed to be happy. He was always smiling and laughing even when he was irritated with another member of the crew. Was it his counterpart that brought Jim such happiness, was it his invisible friend Maverick, or even worse Doctor McCoy?

Why couldn’t he grasp the simple feeling of friendship? Was it so hard to imagine Jim as a friend? When Jim had sought his company in the past he always saw a sinister reason behind his requests. In doing so he had pushed away a potential friendship that was meant to define him. He had pushed the Captain away despite the words his counterpart had said to him after Vulcan had been destroyed.

Spock tried to clear his mind of all the things he knew about James T. Kirk that he had learned from other people. As he continued to block out that information; he realized that a lot of the knowledge that he had acquired about the Captain came from those around him. He opened his eyes in calm disbelief. The only things he really knew about the Captain came from his personnel file and from observing his interactions with the crew and certain situations.

That knowledge didn’t amount to much. The reality of the situation finally dawned on him. Spock did not know James T. Kirk in any real capacity. That thought caused him to stand up and frantically pace his quarters.

He pondered on these facts and how he was going to try and amend them; until he heard a knock on his door. He walked over to the door hoping that he would find Jim on the other side. When he opened the door he saw Nyota and mentally berated himself for his illogical hope. The Captain had never once came to Spock’s quarters for any reason. Why would he start now? He let Nyota in as he moved deeper in to his quarters.

“Spock I think…No, I know that we need to talk,” She said as soon as the door closed. Spock nodded and headed to his desk. “I agree. Please have a seat,” he said as he sat down at his desk. He knew that this was probably going to be a long and enlightening conversation that would end with the severing of the romantic relationship they currently shared.

“The past few days have opened my eyes about a lot of things. Kirk was right when he yelled at me. I didn’t think so at first, but when he compared me to the Nyota Uhura of Ambassador Spock’s universe and felt that I was lacking when stacked up against her; it hurt. I don’t like being compared to a different version of myself that is apparently better in every way,” she said as she took her seat across from him.

“I think it’s the same for you only worse. I see the way you look at the Ambassador when he’s with Kirk,” She said as she looked at him sadly. “I am unsure of you meaning. The Ambassador’s presence aboard the Enterprise is an unwanted interruption the Captain does not need at the moment. He is a distraction that causes the Captain to disregard all matters for the sake of entertaining the Ambassador’s whims,” Spock stated as if it was fact.

Spock’s statement caused Nyota to smile and laugh. “I do not see anything amusing about what I just said,” Spock said confused. “It’s okay. You’re not use to your emotions, but we’ll come back to that. Right now as selfish as it sounds I need to talk about me first,” she said without a hint of the pervious amusement she felt.

“Starfleet has always been my dream. I have always wanted to be a communications expert aboard the Federation’s Flagship. I thought that once I reached my goal everything else would fall into place relationship wise. I would get along with all my crewmates, you and I would be content together, and I would be respected by my superior officers,” she sighed.

“That is not how it is. I’m constantly being questioned about my motives for taking this position. Doctor McCoy hates me and thinks very little of me, the Captain doesn’t respect me and sees me as a mistake that he should have thought about more, and even though I love you; I’ve realized we’re not good for each other,” Nyota said and then fell silent.

She was right in many ways they were not good for each other. In fact they brought out the worst in one another. Spock brought out Nyota’s jealousy to a whole new level of unreasonable and gave her an unbearable superiority complex. Nyota smothered and took over Spock’s sense of judgment when it came to the people around him. In many ways she was also controlling. Every date they ever went on was to please her. Everything they did together was decided by her.

“I see. Am I to understand then that we are “breaking up” as humans say?” Spock asked. “I think it will be for the best. Let me ask you this…do you love me?” She asked him as she looked him straight in the eye. “You have never said it before and I’ve never pushed for an answer because I know that as a Vulcan talking about your emotions or even admitting you have them is frowned upon, but I would like to know just this once,” she said.

“I am unaccustomed to that type of emotion. I do not believe that I have ever felt it before so I am not sure whether I love you or not,” Spock said as he watched his now ex-girlfriend look at him with sorrow. “Yeah, I thought so. Maybe that’s why you don’t understand the reactions you have to the Ambassador when he is with Kirk,” Nyota hypothesized.

“I have never before felt any form of emotional attachment to the Captain. However, I find that not to be the case any longer. When I see him with my counterpart I feel more emotions then I am accustomed to. I am not diluted enough to believe that their relationship is of friendship alone. I see the way they look at each other. The Ambassador looks at Jim with love and sorrow. Jim looks at the Ambassador with love, trust, and what amounts to a heave case of “hero worship”. It causes me to feel a possessive rage that I do not have a right to feel,” Spock said as he clenched his fists when he thought about the interaction between the Captain and the Ambassador.

“I do not love Captain Kirk…but I do feel an emotional attachment to him. According to mu counterpart this was meant to happen. In every universe that he has seen there is a James T. Kirk who shares a T’hy’la bond with a Spock. I know that we currently do not share such a bond for we are not even friends, but the potential is there and that is what I am being drawn to,” he said as he looked at Nyota’s understanding face.

“The way my counterpart talks you would think that Jim Kirk is the most important think in any universe. I am still confused and am unsure about how I should approach the Captain. It makes it harder knowing that he does not trust me,” Spock said as he closed off his emotions and stared blankly at the desk between them.

“Well, I don’t want to be considered a bitch anymore, so I’ll give you some advice. Don’t try to jump into a relationship with him. It’s too soon for both of you. Try to reach out and be his friend first. I guess I was wrong when I said he couldn’t have friends; because McCoy, the Ambassador, and Maverick are his friends. I don’t know if Maverick really counts as a friend, because he was created by Kirk. It’s more like Maverick is a piece of the Captain then a friend,” She said.

“Right now that’s all I really got. Just try to be his friend. I hear he plays chess. Maybe you can start with that. We’ll always be friends Spock, so if you need me you know where to find me,” she said as she stood to take her leave.

Spock sat at his desk and thought about everything that just happened. He came to one important conclusion. He had to be Jim Kirk’s friend before he could be anything else. Maybe it was time he listened to what his counterpart had said to him after the Narada incident. After all it was a friendship that would define them both.

He sat back and placed his hands behind his head. Jim is aesthetically pleasing to the eye, he is highly intelligent, and has a unique way of thinking. He closed his eyes and pictured a smiling Jim Kirk. It was going to take a lot of work to win over that man, but no one said Spock wasn’t up for a challenge. ‘T’hy’la huh? Who would have thought it possible that James T. Kirk could be a perfect match to someone of Vulcan descent?’ he thought as he began to plan his next move. One way or another he was going to find out. Kirk better prepare himself, because he couldn’t and wouldn’t resist this challenge.


	12. Maverick and Spock

**_Chapter 12: Maverick and Spock_ **

 

 

“What are you doing?” Jim asked as he stood above Maverick with his arms crossed over his chest. Maverick was currently laying on his back half inside one of the communication control stations in the communications lab. “I was just fixing the communication station,” he said innocently as he crawled out from under it.

“How thoughtful of you. Imagine my surprise when I’m being lectured by the Admiralty about how important it is that I don’t screw up this mission and how I should remember that my behavior reflects back on the Federation when the screen goes blank. So, how long have you been “fixing” the communication station?” Jim asked in a huff.

“Relax the station is already back to normal. I just wanted to get them off your back for awhile. Besides, they weren’t saying anything you don’t already know. They’re just being overly bossy because they resent the fact that you’re so young and they think that you don’t deserve to be Captain. However, you and I both know they’re wrong and you make a great Captain. Well, you do now that you’re not acting like a door mat anymore,” Maverick stated as he whipped his hands on his pants.

“Well, thanks for that. They were getting on my nerves and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take their bullshit before I snapped. So as long as the station is back to normal I guess I can’t really be angry with you,” Jim sighed as he uncrossed his arms and headed for the door.

Maverick followed closely behind Jim as he headed for his quarters. Maverick wasn’t happy with the way that Admiral Arthur, Archie, Archer whatever had talked to Jim. He spoke to him as if he was talking to an incompetent toddler. Well, now he can talk to a blank screen for awhile. What Maverick wouldn’t give to physically be in a room with that man. He continued to follow Jim in companionable silence. They were almost to Jim quarters when they heard Spock call out to Jim.

They both turned and saw Spock as he picked up his pace a little to catch up with them. Jim waited patiently for Spock to catch up. He was curious as to what the Commander might want. Jim couldn’t think of anything he had done wrong, so he couldn’t want to bitch him out of some small infraction.

Spock reached the Captain and stood with his hands behind his back. “Captain I was wondering if you were free this evening for a game of chess?” Spock asked. Jim looked confused for a moment and then looked around. “Wait, you’re asking me if I want to play chess with you?” Jim asked baffled by the sudden change of heart.

“If you don’t wish to-” Spock began, but was cut off by Jim. “It’s not that I don’t want to play chess with you. I’m just shocked that you want to play chess with me. You never have before. In fact I don’t think we have ever really spent any personal time together unless we had to for one reason or another,” Jim said as he tried to think of a time they spent time together outside of work that didn’t result in an argument. He couldn’t think of one.

He wasn’t sure what Spock was up to, but he wasn’t about to question him out right about his possible motive. “When do you want to play? We’re planning to meet Bones and Selek for dinner in a few hours so we can play now or after that. You are of course welcome to join us for diner if you want,” he said as he fidgeted nervously.

“I think after the evening meal would be a more logical time to play a game or two. I would also not mind joining you for dinner,” Spock said without any hint as to what he was thinking or feeling. “Good, the more the merrier,” Jim said happily.

“We’ll meet up with you at the mess in about two hours. For now we have to wash up, change out of these clothes, and maybe catch a quick nap,” Jim said as he turned to finish heading to his room. “You keep saying we, Captain,” Spock pointed out. He wasn’t sure if Jim’s imaginary friend was among the current company. Jim faced Spock once more and looked at him in confusion until his brain caught up.

“Huh? Oh yeah, Maverick is coming with us. I can’t leave him alone and he does eat food as well. I don’t remember if I said it before or not, but Maverick and I spend the majority of our time together. We are rarely apart. We’ve been separated for a few days before and once we were separated for two weeks, but the longest we’ve ever been apart was a year and a half,” Jim said as he shuddered in barely disguised guilt and fear.

“That is not something I ever want to experience again in life,” he said with complete seriousness. “Maverick is going to be with me no matter what I do or where I go. I’m sorry if you can’t handle that, but leaving Maverick behind would be like asking you to leave your soul behind. It can’t be done,” he said as he gave Spock a warning look. If this was going to turn into an argument about Maverick not being a real person then someone was about to get his ass kicked. Maverick may not be visible to everyone, but he was a real person with thoughts and feelings that were all his own. He did not deserve to be excluded. Jim had already made that mistake once before and was not about to repeat it.

“I was not asking you to leave him behind. I was unaware that he ate food. I can tell that he is with you, because he gives off the same presence as you do with only a slight difference. I could never and would never ask you to leave him behind,” Spock said softly.

“Oh okay. Well as long as we’re clear on that then,” he said as he looked at Spock with suspicion. “Look I’m not trying to be rude or jump to conclusions, but if you have a problem with Maverick you can tell me. I’ll try not to be angry. It’s just no one has ever accepted him out right; not even Bones. He had to see him to accept him. I know it’s harder to accept him because you can’t see or hear him,” Jim said as he tried to get a glimpse of Spock’s real feelings.

“I do not have a problem with Maverick. If I am anything; I am fascinated by his existence,” he stated as if Jim was being ridiculous. Spock was indeed fascinated by Maverick. A large part of him even wished that he was able to see and hear him like his counterpart could. “Can he communicate with people who cannot see him?” Spock questioned.

“Um…I don’t really feel comfortable talking about him in the open like this. Why don’t we head to my quarters? We can talk there,” Jim said. He didn’t wait for Spock’s reply before he turned and headed to his quarters. He wasn’t surprised that he was followed closely by Spock and Maverick. Jim wasn’t ashamed of Maverick. It was just that he was so use to not talking about him to other people especially in public.

When he reached the door that lead to his rooms he quickly typed in the code and entered. He waited until both Maverick and Spock had entered before he closed and locked his door. He wasn’t sure how this was going to turn out, but he didn’t want any interruptions unless the ship was in danger.

“First thing first before we start I want you to know that I may not be able to answer all you questions concerning Maverick. As far as I know I am the only person in existence to ever have someone like him. There are no documented cases or any form or guidance material on this kind of situation. Everything I know I learned from experience or is a very educated guess. It’s basically all theoretical,” Jim warned Spock as they both sat across from each other at his desk.

He looked off to the side as he watched Maverick fiddle with the replicator. “You guys want something to drink?” Maverick asked. “Thanks I’ll have coffee since I won’t be getting my nap. I might as well get some caffeine. Spock, what do you want to drink?” Jim asked as he turned to face his first officer. Spock looked at Jim with a raised eyebrow. “Oh, um Maverick asked us if we wanted anything to drink. He’s over there getting drinks from the replicator,” he explained to Spock as a coffee cup was sat in front of him. “Water will suffice. Thank you,” Spock said. They waited in silence until a glass of water was sat in front of him.

“As you can see he understands everyone around him. He communicates differently I guess. He can’t talk to you or others because you can’t hear him. He can’t point and make hand gestures and facial expressions to get his point across like he does with Bones, because you can’t see him. However, if it came down to it he does know how to use a PADD and can type out his thoughts and feeling for you to read,” Jim said as he rummaged though his desk to pull out one of his personal PADDs. He handed it off to Maverick as soon as he found one.

Maverick sat the PADD on the desk and went off to find a chair. “Sometimes when Maverick and Bones converse the use the PADD, but like I said Bones can read Maverick’s movements and facial expressions so they don’t use it that often,” Jim explained. Maverick returned to the desk with the chair from Jim’s bedroom. He sat down and picked up the PADD.

Maverick was typing away at whatever he wanted to say to Spock. “Is Maverick a solid being?” Spock asked. “I think so. Maverick is whatever he needs to be, but if you’re asking if I’ve ever seen him walk though anything; then the answer is no. He seems solid to me”.

Maverick passed the PADD to Spock. Spock read the PADD silently as Jim watched him in nervous excitement. He wanted to know what Maverick is saying to Spock and if it is hostile or friendly. Spock sat the PADD down and looked at Jim. “I do believe that I am being threatened,” Spock said. ‘So it is hostile,’ Jim thought as he picked up the PADD to read Maverick’s Message. He shot him a dirty look as he began to read. Maverick didn’t even acknowledge Jim’s reaction.

_‘Why the hell have you been treating Jim so poorly? What is your problem? The entire time I’ve been back in Jim’s life I haven’t seen him do anything that would cause you to disrespect him or treat him like crap. I have access to Jim’s mind so I already know what went down before I got back. There is nothing there that should cause such blatant disrespect. You and your girlfriend have caused him enough grief. I suggest you stop on your own before that choice is taken from you’._

“Maverick stop trying to pick a fight. The fact that he’s here means that he is willing to let bygones be bygones and start anew,” Jim said. In all honesty he no longer cared what Spock’s reasons were. There were things that Jim could let go and things that he couldn’t. He already gave both Spock and Uhura their warnings. He may care what they think of him and it may hurt a little that they were treating him that way, but they are entitled to their own opinions.

“I want to apologize Captain. My behavior has been less than adequate and has caused a rift in the command team dynamics,” Spock said. Jim waved it off. “All is forgiven,” he said. “You forgive too easily. It won’t kill you to hold a grudge. It’s one of the many things your good at,” Maverick said.

“I’ll have you know those are held under different circumstances,” Jim said quietly. It’s true he could hold a grudge like no one else could; it was always done because of the damage that the people or a person caused him or those he loved and respected. He had a long list of people he held a grudge against, but that list was slowly shrinking. He believed that once a person was dead there was really no reason to continue to hate them or even think about them, because they were no longer a problem.

Jim looked back at Spock who had lifted his eyebrow in that quizzical way that questioned the world around him. “Maverick thinks I’m too forgiving. He mentioned my unique ability to hold a grudge a certain way. You haven’t done anything to join the people that have made my list so no worries there,” Jim said as he reassured Spock that there really were no hard feelings.

Maverick picked up the PADD again. Jim shook his head. “Maverick can be a little…antagonistic at times. He doesn’t mean it most of the time. He even gave Bones a bit of trouble before they were able to come to an understanding. It took them a while to fall into a friendship that could be considered…pleasant. They get along just fine now,” he said.

“Does he dislike me?” Spock questioned. He almost sounded dejected about the possibility that Maverick didn’t like him. Jim thought about it for a moment. He closed his eyes and focused on Maverick’s feelings. He wasn’t about to ask him; knowing that Maverick would just lie about his feelings.

When Jim felt what he was looking for he was surprised. Maverick didn’t hate Spock. In fact he was drawn to Spock for unknown reasons and he found him intriguing. He was baffled by Spock as a person and yet he couldn’t help but to be interested in what made him tick. That didn’t mean for one second he wasn’t angry with him, because he was.

Jim opened his eyes and stared at Maverick in wonder. Then a slow smirk began to appear as he controlled his laughter. Maverick shot Jim a warning glare. Jim ignored him and turned to Spock with a smile. “He doesn’t hate you or even dislike you. He’s just mad at you for your past behavior, but don’t worry he’ll let that go soon enough,” Jim said happily.

“Look, Maverick isn’t just a part of me because I “created” him in my mind. He is like the other half of me. He was basically created to handle everything I couldn’t. When I was little I was being consumed by anger and hate. It ruled my life and I had no idea why. My…mother sent me away to live with my grandparents for awhile. Things changed immediately. I was no longer taking my uncontrollable rage out on everyone around me and was in fact very happy”.

“There was no explanation as to why I had suddenly changed. About a year later my mother came back to Earth. She had gotten married and insisted that we become a real family. I knew nothing of this at the time. My grandma told me that she was back on Earth and would be visiting. I was so happy at the time. The day came that my family was to visit. I rushed to answer the door and let her in…I wanted to show her I was different that I had control over my emotions. I didn’t even reach the door when I felt it,” Jim paused for a few minutes. He shook his head and continued.

“I could feel the anger and hatred coming from the other side of the door. I couldn’t bring myself to open it. I ran away. I learned that day that everything I felt was a reflection of the emotions that I picked up from those around me. When I was forced to return to Riverside with my mother and her husband I was struggling really hard to block out everyone else’s feelings and focus on my own feelings”.

Spock continued to listen to Jim as he told his story that led to Maverick. “One day I snapped and I said some things to my mom that weren’t very flattering to her parenting skills. She slapped me and I left the house. I ended up on a river bank and pondered my lot in life. I wished with all my might that I didn’t have this ability to feel what other’s felt. I concentrated as hard as I could and wished for someone who would make everything better; someone who would understand me and love me like a real family”.

Jim laughed as he thought about his childish wish that luckily came true. “I got Maverick that day. He is basically a living manifestation of my empathic abilities that I was never able to control like I said before. I think he a combination of my imagination and my abilities. Right now the only person whose emotions I can feel are his,” Jim said.

“I believe that if I never had Maverick then I wouldn’t be alive today. I could not handle being an empath,” Jim admitted. He quickly explained everything else he knew or believed he knew about Maverick’s existence. Time was catching up to them and Jim had no intention of being yelled at by Bones for being late to dinner.

“Spock there isn’t much else I can say about him. Let’s go get dinner and then we can play chess,” Jim said as he stood and stretched. Maverick picked up the cups and put them in the recycler. All three headed out to the mess thinking about what had just happened.


	13. A New Mission

_**Chapter 13: A New Mission** _

 

 

Three days have passed in relative normalcy since he spoke to Spock privately about Maverick. The dinner he spent with Bones, Maverick, Spock, and the Ambassador was spent sharing in companionable conversation. Nothing unexpected or even really note worthy happened. When Jim and Spock had played chess after dinner they didn’t really talk about anything deeply personal or really share their personal thoughts or feelings.

Jim smiled as he thought about the last three days. He was finally working on that “defining” friendship with Spock. He spent some time with the Ambassador and Bones, but that which made him the happiest was the end to the animosity felt towards him from his communications officer and his first. Uhura even had a very professional attitude since the Ambassador showed up.

Jim was happy that everything seemed to be falling into place for once. He was a little sad that the Ambassador was being dropped off at Starbase 3 in less than an hour. He already spent that morning with him talking about everything and nothing at the same time. He was defiantly going to miss the old guy.

Jim’s thoughts were interrupted by a beep from his communicator. “Captain Kirk here,” he said as he stood up and headed for the door. “We have reached the Starbase and are preparing for the Ambassador’s departure,” Uhura replied. “Roger that, I’m on my way to the transporter room right now. Captain Kirk out,” he said as he exited his room.

There was no way he was going to send Ambassador Spock off without a proper good bye. He hurried to the transporter room that was already packed with the members of the Ambassadors party, Bones, Maverick, and Spock. The goodbyes didn’t take that long. He hugged the Ambassador and wished him luck.

It didn’t take long before everyone went back to business as normal. Starfleet Command had even given them a new mission that was simple enough. They were to take some scans and some samples of Mynos II.

Mynos II is a planet the same size as Earth, but that is where the similarities end. The planet had a lighter gravity. It wasn’t drastically lighter, but it was light enough to notice. It wasn’t like you were going to float away or anything like that. The air was also thinner which meant Jim and the rest of the away crew would have to suffer McCoy’s hypos of death. Mynos II didn’t have any intelligent life. It seemed that the plaint was only inhabited by plants and animals.

Jim sighed in relief. Normally he wouldn’t mind doing a more dangerous mission, but right now he was happy that the crew was still basically on break doing what he considered milk runs. The planet wasn’t that far away from Starbase 3, so they were due to arrive within two hours.

Jim new once they arrived they would spend the rest of the day and part of the next doing scans and taking samples from the planet. He didn’t have to be a part of the away team, but he never liked being left on the ship. He had every intention of going with them and helping them collect samples.

Jim helped Spock select part of the away team. Spock selected the science officers and Jim selected the security officers. The planet may come across as harmless enough, but who knows what type of wild animals there were on the planet. Therefore Jim deemed it necessary to have a few members from security join the away team even if it looked like a pointless thing to do. Jim had even told Maverick that he couldn’t come on the away mission. Maverick had pouted for a little while until Jim explained to him that he could be a distraction that caused Jim to create problems for the rest of away team.

By the time they arrived to the planet everything had been set up and ready to go. A shuttle holding four members of the away team was going to take the supplies they would need to the planet. Once they reached the planet they were to message the ship and the rest of the away team would be beamed to the planet.

For once Spock didn’t even argue with Jim about his choice to participate in the mission. It wasn’t unheard of for Spock to insist that the Captain say aboard the ship and monitor the mission progress from there. Spock never won those arguments. Jim was beginning to think that Spock had finally seen the illogic in pestering Jim over something that he was never going to cave on.

Jim headed to the transporter room once the Enterprise received the message that they had safely arrived on Mynos II. He was met in the transporter room by the rest of the away team as well as Bones and Maverick. Maverick was simply there to tell him to be safe and to bring him back something pretty. Bones was there to give him his hypo that would make it easier for him to breathe on the planet and to warn him not to do anything stupid.

Jim laughed them both off and promised Maverick that if he found something that he thought Maverick would like and it wasn’t dangerous he would bring it back to him. Bones left the transporter room with one last warning and muttering to himself about Jim being a child in a grown man’s body. Maverick wished him luck and followed McCoy back to Sickbay.

Spock, Jim and the rest of the crew members that were to head down to Mynos II took their positions on the transporter pad. Jim Waited until everyone was ready before he gave the order for beam out. Once they materialized on the planet they joined the other members that were already there in setting up some of the equipment.

The mission was on its way. Jim helped everyone who needed it whether it was bagging or bottling samples, repairing equipment that didn’t work right, or even running some scans himself. Everyone was hard at work.

The plant life was very different from any other plant life he had ever seen before. One of the flowers he came across had dark red thorns, glittery blue leaves, and what looked like silver petals. It was one of the loveliest things he had ever seen. He made a mental note to get one of these flowers for Maverick when he was done with the work he was assigned.

A lot of the plants were strange colors, but Jim viewed them as something that made Mynos II a beautiful planet. Mynos II was what Jim considered an environmental paradise despite the thin air and lighter gravity. The visual aspect of the planet more than made up for what others had considered its short comings. Jim finished take the immediate scans he was asked to do and started taking pictures of the surrounding area. He had every intention of getting some copies of the pictures he was taking and adding them to his own collection of pictures he had taken from other planets.

They should have known that is wasn’t going to be an easy mission. There is no such thing as an easy mission when it comes to an away team. Jim was too busy taking his photographs to notice that he had wandered a little too far from the away team and was now in a more open space.

A giant feline like creature rested in a nearby tree that overlooked the clearing that Jim had entered. The creature was twice the size of a lion and had fangs that were close to nine inches in length. Its fur was a lovely dark shade of green. Its pretty color didn’t make it any less menacing. Once Jim had entered the clearing the monster cat’s ears perked up and took notice of the strange being that had invaded its territory.

The creature jumped silently from its perch and began to stealthily stalk its prey. Jim turned just in time to see the creature leap at him. He tried to dodge but it was too late. He screamed as the creature’s claws dug into his skin as he was shoved to the ground. The pain he felt became more intense when the creature bit into his flesh. He screamed louder as nine inch fangs entered his side. The last thing he saw before he passed out was the rest of the away team entering the clearing.

Spock had kept checking on Jim every ten minutes or so. He had to focus on his research, but every spare chance he got; he was looking in the Captain’s direction. Spock was worried when Jim wandered too far away and he knew he should have been adamant that Jim return to the perimeter that they had currently set. When he heard Jim scream he didn’t waste one second before he took off in his direction, phaser drawn, and ready to kill if necessary.

Spock wasn’t alone when he ran after Jim. The security team and the other science officers followed closely behind. Spock was horrified by the sight before him when he reached the Captain. He fired his phaser at the creature along with many others from the away team. After a few shots the animal was dead. The Captain was bleeding to death.

Spock hurried over to him and pulled out his communicator. “Alert medical! The Captain has been injured. We need two for beam out immediately!” Spock shouted into his communicator. He picked up Jim just in time for the surrounding lights that came with being teleported by the transporter.

Doctor McCoy had entered the transporter room as soon as their molecules realigned. They had the stretcher ready to transport Jim to Sickbay. Everything after that happened so fast. McCoy trying to save Jim, Jim’s heart stopping, McCoy unable to restart it quickly enough to save him, Maverick pushing him out of the way and taking over.

Everyone watched as Maverick became visible for a brief moment as he placed his hands on Jim. One on his forehead and the other above his heart. They watched him as he began to glow brighter and brighter until they had to look away. When the light flashed and disappeared they were able to look back towards their Captain and his friend. Maverick was missing, but Jim’s heart was beating and he was breathing once more. This gave McCoy the chance he needed to perform the surgery that would save Jim.

After seven straight hours of surgery he was stable, but in a coma. Doctor McCoy didn’t know how long he would be in his comatose state, but hoped that when Jim woke up he would have the strength to tell him that Maverick had vanished after saving his life. He didn’t know what happened to Maverick and that was going to upset Jim a great deal after having a near death experience that almost ended with him being eaten.


	14. Maverick

_**Chapter 14: Maverick** _

 

 

It felt like floating. Jim wondered if this was how dying was supposed to feel. He was surrounded by darkness, but he felt as if he wasn’t touching anything. “You died,” he heard Maverick’s voice echo in the darkness, but could not see him. “I died? Then what am I doing here?” Jim asked back as he tried to find Maverick. “I said you died. I didn’t say that you were still dead,” he said back only quieter. Maverick sounded as if he was fading and Jim realized that he couldn’t feel him anymore.

“What do you mean? Maverick what’s going on? Where are you?!” Jim yelled frantically as he looked around trying to spot Maverick. “You needed me Jim. You needed the strength and life back that you had poured into me. I’m glad I was able to give you what you had once given me so long ago as we stood overlooking the riverbank,” Maverick said fondly.

“What did you do?!” Jim screamed. Something wasn’t right. “When you created me; you basically split off part of yourself and forced it away. Your desperate need for someone to love and understand you focused all of that into creating me. Because I’m a part of you; part of your life force became mine. It’s what you gifted me with in order for me to live,” Maverick explained.

“Now it’s time I return the favor. I saw no sense in both of us dying. I would only exist for a little while longer after your death. I chose to give my life force back to you so that you can live. I’m fading fast Jim,” Maverick whispered.

“No! You can’t leave me!” Jim screamed. “I’m sorry for everything I said back then! Please don’t leave me Maverick!” He begged. “I forgave you the second you said those things Jim. I can’t hold a grudge against you. I didn’t then and I don’t now. I never will. I just wanted to say good-bye and thanks for giving me life and being my friend,” Maverick’s voice spoke softly as it faded out completely.

“Maverick?! Maverick?!” Jim screamed. The darkness faded as a new image took its place. It was Jim yelling at Maverick that he didn’t need him anymore and that he was just in the way. Jim stared at the scene that played before him. He watched as he left the dorm room leaving Maverick behind. As soon as he was gone Maverick let the tears fall silently causing the Jim of the present to break out in tears himself. How Maverick could forgive him for the things he said back then was baffling. He watched as Maverick pulled himself together and left the dorm room himself without looking back.

Jim watched as the scenes changed and played out before him. He watched Maverick always protecting him and watching over him from the shadows. He watched as Maverick would duck and hide to avoid coming into Jim’s direct eyesight. He couldn’t believe it when he watched Maverick board the Enterprise during the Narada incident. He stared as Maverick raced to the area where Jim was being shoved into an escape pod to be sent to Delta Vega and laughed brokenly when he didn’t reach the pod in time and ended up punching the jackass that shoved him in the pod. Jim saw it all. Maverick had never left him; he was always near him trying his hardest to protect him from a distance.

Jim cried as Maverick’s memories continued to play out before him like a movie. When the memories had reached the end Jim watched as Maverick sacrificed his life so that the person who mattered most to him in the entire universe could live. He could see that saving his life was something Maverick wanted more than anything and would never regret.

Maverick loved Jim and Jim loved Maverick. They were family. Sometimes family members can be cruel to others in the heat of an argument and not mean it. Jim had been cruel to Maverick and in the end he realized his mistake and believed that he would never get the chance to apologize. Isn’t that how it works? Family or not; no one is going to stick around and be looked down on for very long. They will eventually leave and never look back. After all that’s what Jim did to the rest of his family.

Jim now knew that Maverick was the exception to that rule. He stuck around even if Jim didn’t know it. He never abandoned him like Jim had basically done to him. Maverick was a brother…no he was more like a twin brother. Jim wasn’t sure he could live without him, because it turns out that the only time he had truly been without Maverick in his life was before he was eight.

Jim let his own thoughts consume him and swallow him back into the darkness. He heard muffled voices that sounded distant and familiar. He followed the voices as they got louder hoping that one of them was Maverick’s. He felt his body becoming heavier as he moved closer to the voices.

“He’ll wake up soon enough without you haunting my Sickbay. I doubt the first thing Jim wants to see when he wakes up is your hobgoblin face,” Bones said with a bit of anger. “I am here to assess the current status of the Captain. I am not here as you say to haunt the Sickbay,” Spock stated with his usual calm emotionless manor.

“Well as you can see he’s still out cold and doesn’t need you hovering. I got it under control, trust me you’ll be the first person I alert should that change any time soon,” McCoy said gently. He too was worried about Jim, but he knew that he was going to make a full recovery. Just as he was about to reassure Spock that Jim; while in a coma was technically fine he heard a groan from the bed. Both Spock and McCoy’s attention was drawn to the bed as they watched their friend and Captain slowly wake up.

Jim opened his eyes for a brief moment before falling asleep. Doctor McCoy ran a few scans to reassure himself as well as Spock that the Captain was now out of his coma and sleeping soundly. “When he wakes up again I’ll let you know,” McCoy said as he ushered Spock out of Sickbay. Spock nodded his head in thanks, but they both knew that Spock would return long before the Captain has had a chance to awaken for the second time.

Jim had awoken after another five hours of rest. When he woke up he felt off. He wasn’t sure what the problem was until he sat up and saw Bones and Spock, but no Maverick. He looked around the room quickly and still didn’t see him. When he reached out mentally for Maverick he began to cry when he felt nothing. Bones had a feeling this would happen when he woke up. Deep down he knew that Maverick was gone and while he would miss the little trouble maker no one would miss him more than Jim.

There was no denying it now He was dead. He gave up his life so Jim could live. He lived to make life easier and bearable for Jim and died so that Jim could continue to live. Jim knew that he would always be a part of him, but it wasn’t the same. People always say the ones who die never really leave us because they are always in our hearts, but the reality of the situation is yes they are gone. A memory isn’t the same as having the real thing and memories fade in time.

Spock watched on as McCoy moved quickly to Jim’s side and pulled him into a hug. Jim quickly hugged him back as he continued to cry. Spock wasn’t sure of his place right now and knew that he was no use to the Captain. He didn’t understand why Jim was so upset, but he thought that it might have something to do with his near death experience.

Jim smashed that theory all to pieces when he pulled away from Leonard, looked him in the eye, and told him what was bothering him. “Maverick’s gone. He’s never coming back. He told me I died and that he had to give up the life force I gave him so I could live,” he said tearfully.

“I’m sorry Jim,” Leonard whispered. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. If I had just paid a little more attention than this never would have happened,” He said brokenly. He wiped away his tears braced himself for what was to come. “I need you to find me someone who can help me control my empathic abilities. I’m not going to let this get out of hand like it was when I was a kid,” Jim stated as he laid back on the bio-bed.

“We’ll get to that later. For now I want you to concentrate on getting better and the only way you can do that is by resting,” Leonard said. “You don’t understand. I can’t rest until I know that there is going to be someone who can help me with this. I don’t want to be overwhelmed by everyone else’s emotions. I don’t ever want to lose myself in other people; constantly questioning who I am. I can’t live that way again,” he yelled in a panic.

“Calm down,” Leonard tried to sooth him, but to no avail. “I can’t do it without Maverick! He is the one who was able to control it not me! Never Me! I tried before and it didn’t work. I hurt people! You have to find me someone who can help me control this curse,” Jim screamed.

“Captain, I can help you get control over your abilities after you have rested. There is no need to panic. I am trained in controlling my telepathy and am certain that I can help you gain full control over your empathy,” Spock said calmly. He was going to do everything in his power to help his Captain in his time of need.

“Really? Thanks Spock. You don’t know how much that means to me,” Jim said quietly as Leonard gave him a hypo spray filled with pain killers and a sleeping agent. Jim was out like a light within minutes. McCoy and Spock went back to work as he slept and dreamed of Maverick.

The third time Jim woke up he was calmer and more excepting of the fact that his friend was gone. He had always been there for Jim when he needed him most and this last time had been no exception. His name was Maverick. He was and still is a very important person to Jim. Death had not changed that.


	15. Recovery & Control

_**Chapter 15: Recovery & Control** _

 

 

Jim was very unhappy. After his near death experience and the loss of his friend many understood why. It wasn’t as though he was taking his problems out on those around him; it was that his presence brought a dark cloud wherever he went. No one was willing to try and cheer him up just yet. The loss of someone that close to you cannot be glossed over in a matter of days.

Maverick had been gone for one week, three day, and seventeen hours. It was becoming easier to except that he was never ever coming back as the days past. Jim had taken to trying to distract himself by learning control from Spock. The hardest part was learning to close his mind first. He worked on doing that for most of the day considering he still wasn’t cleared for duty yet.

Spock told Jim that if he learned to close his mind then he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the emotions of others around him. Jim hoped he was right, but closing his mind was something that he had never done. He shared his mind constantly with Maverick. They were basically two separate people that shared one mind space. Even when he had that fight with Maverick he never closed his mind to him. Maverick was the one who would close his mind from Jim on occasion, but that rarely happened. Maverick had always been better at control then Jim was.

Jim was currently attempting to meditate. His reasoning for this was that if he cleared his mind maybe he could close it or put up a mental shield or whatever the hell Spock had talked to him about. He needed to concentrate harder because he had already started to feel everyone else’s emotions and that wasn’t okay. The only emotions he wanted to feel were his own.

He closed his eyes and focused. He imagined himself inside his own mind and breathed in. When he saw his mind space take shape; he breathed out. He kept his breathing at a steady pace as he envisioned a thick silver wall growing into a dome to cover his mind space. Then he imagined black rods bending and shifting though the dome to reinforce it. He took a deep breath and exhaled. The dome needed a door just in case.

Jim imagined a small space of the dome disappearing and a reinforced steal door taking its place. The door maybe a just in case, but that didn’t mean he was going to have a weak door that could break at anytime. He focused and imagined it all coming together as one impenetrable fortress.

Jim didn’t know how long he had been meditating, but when he opened his eyes he came face to face with both Spock and Bones. “Hey guys. I was just trying to create a shield for my mind hoping to close it off. What are you doing here?” he questioned as he moved to stand up from his lotus position on the floor.

“We have been trying to reach you for a few hours now Jim,” Leonard said as he held out his hand to help him up. Jim took his hand and pulled himself up off the ground. “Huh…that’s odd. It doesn’t feel as if I’ve been meditating that long,” Jim said as he stretched and popped some of his bones into a more comfortable position.

“I think I have been able to put up a barrier in my mind now. All I have to do is test it,” Jim said happily. He hoped that whatever he did in his mind was real for once and that it would all work out for him in the end. “Captain, if you wish it I could test you mind and see if you have successfully blocked it form unwanted intrusion,” Spock offered.

“I don’t know Spock. Testing my shield against a normal person might be better for the first time. I don’t think my mind can compete with yours,” Jim said wearily. “I disagree, Captain. The objective is to find out if your mental shield is strong enough to block out unwanted emotions. What better way to test them then for me to do it?” Spock reasoned logically.

“I guess you have a point, but this might be hard for you considering Vulcans keep their emotions under control. I don’t want you to do something that is going to make you uncomfortable,” Jim said concerned that he might upset Spock after all the progress they made to be friends and end up back at square one. “Oh brother,” Leonard mumbled; which earned him a glare from Jim. “The peanut galley must remain silent for the time being,” Jim said wisely. Leonard rolled his eyes at Jim’s antics. He wasn’t about to take a step backwards. He had only recently forgiven Spock and Uhura for the crap they put him through; he didn’t want to make matters worse then they were before by encouraging Bones to be a jerk.

“Um…okay, normally all you have to do is stand there and feel something deeply. Let’s try that first and then you can do that mind meld thing and see if you can inspect my shield that way,” Jim told Spock as he stood before him. Spock nodded his head in understanding and waited for Jim to signal to begin. Once Jim waved his hand to get on with it; Spock focused and picked his emotion. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Jim to feel his feelings of “Like” (cause it couldn’t be love this early). Then again if he felt it; it could be interpreted two different ways. The first is that he likes Jim as a friend and the second is he likes him as a potential romantic interest.

“Are you sure you can do this,” Jim questioned; “because I’m getting nothing”. Spock was proud that Jim wasn’t able to feel what he had felt. “Maybe it worked,” Leonard added his two cents from a nearby chair. “Maybe, but why don’t we just make sure,” Jim said not really believing that his shield had held up.

“Indeed Captain. Whenever you are ready I can look into your mind and inspect it for a shield,” Spock replied. “I’m ready whenever you are Spock. I just want to know if I’m going to have to start all over again or not,” Jim said as he stepped closer to Spock in preparation for the meld.

Spock placed his fingers on Jim’s meld points. He took a deep breath and entered his Captain’s mind. He saw Jim standing next to him in the middle of a silver and black dome. “Does this mean it didn’t work?” Jim asked as he turned to face Spock. “On the contrary Captain it has worked quite well,” Spock reassured him.

“Then how come you were able to enter my mind?” Jim questioned. Spock raised his eyebrow at that question. “When you envisioned the shield you only thought about blocking out emotions did you not?” Spock asked him. “Oh…I guess that makes since. That was the whole point after all. I only wanted to block out everyone’s emotions before they over powered me,” Jim admitted sheepishly.

“That is what you have accomplished,” Spock said before they diapered. Jim opened his eyes as he felt Spock remove his hand from his face. “So, this really means that I’ve blocked out everyone?” Jim asked again. “Yes Captain,” Spock answered.

“Good. Now everyone…get out. I want to take a nap. I feel rally tiered and don’t feel like pretending I’m not at the moment,” Jim said as he flopped onto his bed like a fish out of water. “Okay princess. We’ll be back later to check on you,” Leonard said earning himself the finger in return and a mumbled curse that promised pay back when Jim was more awake.

After McCoy and Spock left his quarters; Jim became restless. He was still tired, but unable to sleep. He let his mind wander over everything that had happened over the past week and a half. His death and the loss of Maverick consumed most of his thoughts.

Jim was still a little freaked out by the possibility of losing control and drowning in the emotions of others. He still didn’t understand how he was able to gain as much control as he has so fast. He never could in the past and that was beginning to bother him. He didn’t know anyone who would have the answers he wanted or even what questions to ask to get those answers. The closes person to him was Bones and he had no idea what was going on either.

Jim rolled over and wished there was someone out there who was able to shed some light on his situation. Jim suddenly felt like a moron after that thought crossed his mind. He could ask the Ambassador. He pulled out a PADD.

_Hello Old Friend,_

_I am having a bit of trouble comprehending the situation that I have found myself in. I require you insight if you are able to give it. I was on an away mission awhile ago and was almost killed. I died on a table in Sickbay for a few moments. Maverick sacrificed his life force so that I could live. He has disappeared and he is not coming back. I had feared that I would gain back the abilities I had used to create him. I couldn’t live like that again and your counterpart had offered to help me gain control over those abilities. We haven’t been working that long or that hard on them, but I have found myself gaining rapid control. I’m a little freaked out by this, because it was never this easy. If you can tell me anything about this I would appreciate it. Thanks again old friend. –Jim_

As soon as he finished typing out the message he sent it and waited for a reply. Jim sat his PADD on his desk, leaned back in his chair, and crossed his arms across his chest. He hoped that Ambassador Spock would shine some light on the situation. He didn’t have to wait long. As soon as his PADD beeped; signaling him that he had a new message he grabbed it.

_Dear Jim,_

_I grieve with thee. My Jim lost his Maverick in a similar incident. I can tell you that there is nothing to worry about. Maverick’s existence thrived on your empathic abilities. His life force consumed those abilities and destroyed them in a way. You will never have the same level of power that you did before. It’s considered low level at best and might have rare spikes of growth that will fade over time. The control you are talking about comes easy to you, because you are use to a larger quantity. Consider this: on a scale of 1-10 your empathic ability was a 10 before you created Maverick and now it is a 1.7 almost a 2. You never wanted your abilities and you passed them on to Maverick. He passed on doing what he did best in his life. He kept those powers from you to protect your mind. –Spock_

Jim sat his PADD down after he read the message. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face in sorrow. Maverick…Maverick was always protecting Jim from himself. His death did not change that. Jim smiled sadly. He may be able to pick up on small hints of emotions time to time from now on, but he couldn’t help but be grateful for that because it was his only link to Maverick outside of his memories. It wasn’t something he felt the need to concern himself with; and with that thought Jim suddenly wasn’t so worried about his control anymore.


	16. It’s Not Alright, But It Will Be Okay & Epilogue

_**Chapter 16: It’s Not Alright, But It Will Be Okay** _

 

 

Jim was able to get some sleep and when he woke up he felt better then he had in a long time. He got ready for an early check-up in Sickbay before he went to the bridge. Jim felt he was ready to go back to work and the only way he was going to convince the good doctor of that was to let him check for himself. It was just easier that way then fighting with him and then caving into his demands for a check-up anyway.

It was a new day and Jim was ready to face it; even if he was doing so without Maverick. Maverick would be missed, but he knew that life had to go on. He wasn’t his mother (and universe willing he never would be). He wasn’t going to let the loss of a loved one consume him and turn him in to an uncaring self absorbed human being. He wasn’t about to let Maverick’s death overtake him to the point to where he only cared about living in his memory. If he did that then Bones and everyone else would mean nothing to him.

He showered and dressed as quickly as possible and made his way to Sickbay. He didn’t pay any attention to the weird looks he received along the way. He did return greetings as his passed crew members that offered them to him first; otherwise they were nothing but background to him. Jim needed to see Bones before he could acknowledge anything other then his need to be cleared for active duty. He made it to Sickbay with out any complications and waited for Bones. He knew that the sooner he got this over with the better.

“What are you doing here Jim?” Leonard asked as he entered the room drinking a steaming hot cup of coffee. “I want to go back to work. I’m not going to get any better emotionally if I just spend all day alone in my room,” Jim replied. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? What about your control? I think being around a lot of people will cause you to have a melt break down. I don’t think you’re ready to be exposed to that many people and their emotions,” Leonard told him gently. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. My control is no longer an issue. I was worried that I was gaining control quicker then I was ever able to in the past; so I sent a message to Ambassador Spock and asked him about it. He told me the reason that I gained the level of control I have as fast as I have is because there isn’t really anything there to control,” Jim said.

“What the hell does that mean?” Leonard asked. “It means that Maverick was right. Remember when he first popped back up and we were in my room talking about experiments that would take place if it ever got out that there was a Maverick?” Jim asked. Maverick’s words from that night hadn’t registered to Jim until now. He guessed that the reason for that was because he never wanted to think about Maverick being dead. Now he no longer has that option.

“Yeah…he said, that he didn’t think you would get those abilities back if anything ever happened to him,” Leonard whispered. “Yes, he did say that and he was right. According to Spock; Maverick basically burned up those abilities throughout his life time. They were part of his life force and when he died they went with him for the most part. The only thing I really got back I think was the piece of my life force that was also sustaining him and a hint of empathic abilities,” Jim stated.

“Now…you know how I feel about being here, so can we just get on with it? I would like to go back on active duty as soon as possible,” Jim whined. “Hold your horses you infant,” Leonard grumbled as he grabbed a scanner and started Jim’s check-up. Leonard wasn’t taking any chances and checked Jim over for everything more then once. He was a relived when he found nothing, but he still believed that Jim should rest for another day or two at the least. He knew that wouldn’t fly with Jim, so he reluctantly cleared him for duty.

Jim thanked Leonard and promised to meet up with him for lunch as he headed out the door. He made his way to the bridge in higher spirits then he had on his way to Sickbay. Jim had a feeling that today wasn’t going to be so bad. He entered the bridge and was greeted with “Keptain on the bridge!” form an excited and happy Chekov. His entrance drew everyone’s attention to him.

“Captain, should you be on the bridge?” Spock asked. “I’ve already talked to Bones and had a check-up. I’ve been cleared,” Jim said defensively. “That is not what I meant. Your control hasn’t been fully tested,” Spock said as he stood from the captain’s chair. “Oh that. Well, I already talked to our old friend about it. It seams as though a counterpart of mine had to go though the same thing. I’m fine, because there isn’t really anything there to control. It seams my empathic abilities are not what they once were,” Jim replied as he took his seat in the captain’s chair.

“You spoke to the Ambassador about this?” Spock questioned as he stood next to Jim. Jim looked up at him and saw a hint of emotion that he couldn’t identify before it vanished. “I had to. I was freaking out and I couldn’t sleep. I needed answers and I knew that he had them. I sent him a message last night and he got back to me pretty quickly,” Jim said trying to get Spock to understand that it was nothing against him.

“Your counterpart went though the same thing I presume,” Spock observed. Jim looked down in sorrow, “Yes, he did”. Spock suddenly felt guilty for bringing up Maverick’s loss. “Jim I-” Spock faded off as Jim looked up at him once more with questioning eyes. He cleared his throat and started again. “Captain, if it is not to inconvenient for you perhaps you would like to play a game of chess tonight?” Spock asked.

“I guess I’m up for it. Part of the reason I went to Bones to clear me for duty was because I felt that sitting in my room alone in the dark was counterproductive to my recovery. I need to be around other people,” Jim agreed to the invitation. He took it in stride even though he was sure the only reason he was invited to play a game of chess with Spock was because he pitied him. Jim was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth and accepted Spock’s invitation. It was either that or spend the entire night alone in the darkness of his room.

“Should we meet up in the recreation room after dinner?” Jim asked. “I was thinking that it would perhaps be better if we played in one of our rooms. The noise level in the recreation room is fairly high. It would be a distraction that neither one of us would appreciate,” Spock said.

“Well, I know how you like you privacy and since you’ve already been in my room I guess we can play there,” Jim said. “That is fine Captain,” Spock agreed as he turned and made his way over to the science station. Jim stared after him in confusion. After a minute he shook himself out of it and faced the front.

“So, what’s on the agenda today? Uhura, any orders from Starfleet Command?” He asked in what the crew had dubbed his Captain’s voice. “There are no new orders. Starfleet Command has granted your request for shore leave. The closest federation planet is Ares VI” Uhura said as she typed away at her station. “Okay so we’ll head there. Chekov plot a course to Ares VI,” Jim ordered.

The rest of the shift was spent in mostly content silence. Even after he came back from his brief lunch break with Bones the silence remained the same with barley any talking unless it was absolutely needed. He kept catch Uhura throwing him funny looks. He wasn’t sure what her problem was, but he was content to ignore it as long as she didn’t try to cause any problems. In his current state he would probably punch her in the face as hard as he could if she did cause something. He is aware that she had already changed from her past behavior, but he was in no mood for a repeat performance.

When the shift ended Jim made his way back to his quarters for a quick nap before dinner. He sent a quick message to Bones informing him that he was going to be napping for the next two hours and to wake him up for dinner. He was looking forward to his nap. Jim didn’t get enough sleep; even though he was able to get some sleep last night after he talked to Spock. He hypothesized that another reason for his fatigue could be because he was still recovering his physical strength after his to close for comfort death experience.

When he entered his quarters he went straight to his bedroom. On his way he removed his shoes, socks, and gold command shirt. It was just a nap. He saw no reason to strip down completely and get into his night close just to change again in a few hours. Jim didn’t think that the regulation uniform was that uncomfortable and he new from past experiences that he would be able to sleep in it just fine.

Jim had belly flopped onto his bed and sighed when he heard the buzzer for his door go off. He groaned and rolled over onto his back. “This had better be an emergency,” he grumbled to himself. He reluctantly got out of bed and headed to the main doors to his quarters. In his mind; Jim was preparing a harsh verbal lashing for the person on the other side of the door. It wasn’t that hard to talk to him while he was on shift or while he was making his way back to his quarters. Honestly there was never any rest for the weary.

He opened the door and glared out at the person standing before him. He opened his mouth to deliver the harsh talking to he went over in his mind, but ended up blinking in confusion when it finally registered who was standing there in front of him. He cleared his throat; pondering as to why she was standing at his door. He couldn’t come up with a reasonable explanation, so he assumed she was there about ship business.

“What can I help you with Lieutenant Uhura?” Jim asked her curiously. “May I come in for a moment Captain?” she asked him instead of answering his question. He now looked at her suspiciously. “Why exactly do you need to come into my rooms? You are aware that you can send me messages right? I can handle almost any ship business from my PADD,” Jim questioned her.

He didn’t know what she wanted, but one thing was certain she was not to be trusted. There was a reason he didn’t spend his free time alone with any women from his crew. Call him paranoid, but he didn’t want to give anyone a chance to accuse him of something he didn’t do. He knew many women who would do exactly that and as much as he hated to believe that a member of his own crew was capable of something like that he wasn’t going to risk it. In his mind she would be the woman most likely to do it. 

“This isn’t about ship business. It is a personal matter,” she said. “Look, I’m not sure what you are up to, but we both know that I don’t trust you. Therefore, there is no way in hell I’m going to let you into my quarters as long as we’re the only ones here. I forgave you for the things that happened before, but I have done that for other people and it has come back to bit me in the ass. If it is a personal matter that needs my attention -which I highly doubt- you’ll swallow your pride and find someone we mutually trust to be here and hear whatever it is you need to talk about,” Jim said as he spread his arms; blocking anyone from entering his rooms.

“You think very little of me don’t you Captain?” Uhura asked sadly. “I’m just returning the favor. Do you know what the difference is between you and me? It’s that I haven’t done anything to ruin your reputation. It’s sad that I can’t say the same about you. Heaven knows what kind of crap you’d spew after I spent some alone time with you,” he said as he turned to head back to his bed. His sleepiness making him spiteful for the moment

“I think you are being unfair Captain,” She sighed. He turned around slowly and faced her once more. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he whispered loud enough for her to hear him. “Please hear me out Sir! I have something that I need to say to you and it is important to me that you hear it,” she begged him to listen to her.

He sighed and looked out in to the hall. He looked around for another officer that he could have observe them while he listened to whatever she wanted to say. He spotted both Bones and Spock turning down the hall. They were coming from opposite directions. It was settled. He would have them both there.

“If you want to talk to me Spock and Bones have to sit in as witnesses,” he said without any room for argument. Spock and Bones looked at Jim in confusion when he stopped talking. “What the hell are you trying to pull me into?” Bones questioned as he glared at Jim. “You should be napping right now! Not causing me trouble!” He added.

“I was trying to sleep when I was interrupted by someone at my door. She needs to tell me something, but I’m not so sure we should be alone together. You and Spock are going to have to sit in on this impromptu meeting. I’m not about to risk my career or any more of my reputation on whatever is floating around in her mind. Any objections?” he asked.

No one objected. “Please, won’t you all join me in my quarters?” Jim asked sarcastically as he waved them all in. Jim took a seat at his desk and waved for the others to take a seat. Jim didn’t have enough chairs, so Bones opted to lean against the wall behind Jim. He had the perfect view of everyone present. “I want a nap before dinner, so you have five minutes Uhura,” Jim said as he looked at her in suspicion once more.

“I wanted to apologize for my past behavior. I realized a while ago that I was completely unreasonable. I just believed what I wanted to believe without any real facts. I’m not sure how I let that one incident at the bar consume me and cause me to base your entire person on that experience. You were right when you called me out on it the other day on the bridge. I know that it might take along time, but I hope that some day we can be friends,” She said with determination.

Silence fell throughout the room. Jim was unsure if he heard her correctly. Leonard didn’t know whether or not to remain silent or scream at her for trying to pull a joke on Jim in his current emotional condition.

The silence remained for a few more minutes. Everyone in the room turned their focus solely onto Jim. He looked her in the eyes as he started to speak. “I forgive you,” he said sincerely. “Are you kidding me?! You’re such a bleeding heart Jim. After all the crap she has put you through; how could you forgive her? You’re just to forgiving for your own good,” Leonard said as he shook his head in exasperation.

Jim turned his chair to face Leonard. “Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. She apologized. It’s not like she caused me bodily harm or murdered someone I love. She had a snotty attitude and poor professional social skills. I’m sure now that she has realized her faults she will be more professional in the work place,” he said as he looked up at his scowling friend.

Leonard grumbled about Jim’s kindness and waved him off. Jim turned back around to face Uhura. “I accept your apology and I look forward to one day calling you friend,” he said happily. It was closely followed by Leonard’s less then enthusiastic “spare me”. Jim stood, “Thanks for stopping by, but now I really do need that nap. I will see you guy’s later”. He walked towards the door, opened it and waved everyone out.

Uhura stood and exited the room, causing Jim to sigh. “I’ll see you at dinner Jim,” Leonard grumbled as he passed him on his way out. “See ya then,” he said as he stifled a yawn. He turned to face an unmoving Spock.

“You already apologized, remember? Jim said as he fought to stay awake. He was so tired. He couldn’t wait until he was fully recovered and his body no longer felt so fatigued.

“I still wish to say that I am sorry for what happened before,” Spock said. “Apology accepted, Spock. I guess if we are dishing out much deserved apologies; I do owe you one as well. I should have said it along time ago, but I never really got a chance. I’m sorry for the terrible things I said during the Narada incident. I know that you loved your mother and I never should have suggested otherwise,” Jim said sincerely.

“You are forgiven, Jim. I do not hold that against you. You did what you had to do in order to save Earth and the rest of the fleet,” Spock replied. “I’m happy that we were able to put that drama behind us,” Jim yawned

“I will let you rest now Captain. I will see you after dinner for a game of chess,” Spock said as he headed for the door. “Okay, just meet me back here after dinner,” Jim said as he waved Spock out.

As soon as Spock was gone Jim quickly went back to his bedroom and fell back into his bed. He thought about all the things that have happened over the past few days. Jim shook his head as thoughts of Maverick, his long gone empathic abilities, and his crew threatened to cloud his mind and keep him awake. Jim tried to push those thoughts away and think about sleep.

Everything would be clearer when he woke up. When he wakes he’ll face his crew. He’ll act like nothing is wrong and he is in complete control. He’ll have dinner with Bones while arguing with him about his health. He will play chess with Spock and then end up right back in his bedroom alone and tired.

Jim pushed those thoughts away once more; this time with better results. He told himself that thing would get better in time. That’s all it would take; was time. He turned over and pulled his pillow closer. He sighed and slowly began to drift off to sleep.

 

 

_**Epilogue** _

 

 

Jim wasn’t super happy and he wasn’t depressingly sad. He just was. Maverick had sacrificed his life for Jim’s almost a year ago. He still thought about Maverick from time to time, but he never let his grief consume him. Life went on. He understood and accepted that there was nothing he could have done to have changed the outcome of the events that led to Maverick’s death. He was working through his pain the way he always did; one day at a time.

Things had gotten better. His relationships with his fellow crew mates had improved greatly. Uhura no longer had a condescending attitude when she spoke to him and was an all around better officer and person at least in Jim’s opinion.

Spock no longer questioned Jim on every little decision he made. They got along better and worked well of each other. In fact they spent a lot of their free time together. Spock would still point out the importance of a few of the regulations and would advise against Jim’s choice of action if he felt it was too risky. Their friendship was finally on the right path to becoming just as great if not even better then their counterparts.

Jim still spent the majority of his free time with his best friend Bones. Their friendship hadn’t changed at all. They still hung out together, drank together, and occasionally complained about each other to one another. It was the same old same old and Jim was thankful for that.

The rest of the crew seamed to finally be falling in line as well. There was sill a few problems here and there, but other wise things had gotten better. He didn’t get as many dirty looks from crew members that he passed in the hallway. The crew also stopped hesitating to follow his orders which made him happy for the most part.

He worked through the bulk of his grief by focusing on the new developments that had accrued between him and his crew mates and any new missions that Starfleet Command had assigned them. He knew there would come a day when he would be able to think of Maverick and all the things he said and did without feeling the crippling loss his death had caused. Jim had a feeling that day wasn’t too far away.

Present day reality set in quickly when Starfleet sent the Enterprise their next mission. “Captain, we have just received orders to head to New Vulcan to pick up the Ambassador that will be representing them during the conference that is to take place on Babel after that we are to go to Starbases 16 and 25 to pick up two different groups of Ambassadors also journeying to Babel. Once we have them all on board we are to transport them to Babel,” Uhura said politely.

“Send all information regarding this mission to me PADD. Sulu, Chekov you know what to do,” Jim said after he received the information. Jim opened the file that contained the information for the mission and scrolled to see who would be the Ambassador to represent the Vulcan people. He was a little disappointed when he saw the name of the Ambassador, but was happy for his friend and voiced his acceptance about the decision. “Look Spock, your dad is the Ambassador that we are going to be picking up this time. Isn’t that awesome? You’ll get to spend some time with your dad,” Jim said happily as he got up out of his seat to hand his PADD to Spock.

He held the PADD out for Spock to take. Spock’s fingers brushed against Jim’s as he took the PADD from him. “That is fortuitous Captain, for I have not been able to spare much time to communicate with my father lately,” Spock said as he scanned the rest of the list of Ambassadors that they would be transporting to Babel. Once he was finished he handed the PADD back to Jim brushing their fingers together once more; this time causing Uhura and a few others to try and stifle poorly concealed giggles.

Jim wasn’t sure what was so funny, but he didn’t care at the moment. Everything was turning up positive. Spock wasn’t freaking out that they had accidentally touched and they were just assigned an easy mission. Life was never perfect and it was never going to be. Every day was a journey he couldn’t wait to face with his friends and loyal crew. What more could he ask for?


End file.
